:crumpet: Treads about crumpets 👞

Monkey Tennis
1

OK gang, we have two threads about crumpets. Which do you think is the better one?

  • Crumpets 1
  • Crumpets 2

0 voters

Vote away - this is crucial stuff. Sadly, I wasn’t able to make both poll options the same, which was what I wanted to do.

2

Crumpet… phnarrr, Like a bit of crumpet me (see countless other ‘carry-on style’ gags for all the family at www.theydon’ttellemliketheyusedto.co.uk

3
4

Note I left the potential mispelling (sic) of Tread in the title because

a) I have this image of @Fowllyd in a tutu dancing in ballet shoes on a polished oak floor where countless crumpets have been scattered hither and yon - so he is treading about crumpets, and…

b) I’m not sure that tread in this context isn’t an olde English or ancient Russian word that only @Fowllyd knows about - so that if I pull him up on it, he’ll make me look (more) foolish.

3 Likes
5

Age I guess
Strangely seem to have fewer crumpets these days

6

Why can’t I see my own threads

7

Because you’ve been banned?

1 Like
8
9

I’m going to thread carefully and abstain from voting.

5 Likes
10

I am oddly resisting the urge to tweet as Sotonians with the missive:-

Come to Sotonians for a bit of crumpet.

I fear that people would:-

  • Be eternally disappointed on a first impression.
  • Have expectations of the few females brave enough to walk these halls.
  • Attract people that are really into foodstuffs and suchlike. Like, really into them. Like fucking foodstuffs and suchlike. *

It’s not a hard urge to resist.

* I once got a very disturbing piece of advice about beef brisket and Gas Mark 3.

3 Likes
11

In my youth I was a total devotee of Crumpet.
Then, I discovered Muffin.

2 Likes
12

I know what I wrote ffs

I ticked some box about not been notified about updates and they have disappeared from my feed

13

Thank you for your support request caller.

You call is important to us. You are in a queueing system and we hope to get to you as soon as we can.

You are currently number.

:six::nine:

In the queue, please continue to hold. Your call isn’t important to us.

14

Thank you for holding, your call isn’t important to us. You are now number

:two:

in the queue.

15

Thank you for holding, your call isn’t important to us. You are now number

:one:

in the queue.

Welcome to Sotonians Support. We’re the people that work behind the scenes to make your stay such an enjoyable one.

I’m Bletch and I’ll be dealing with your fuck-up today. I’m sorry that your own actions have made you so frustrated, I can only apologise for the inconvenience you have caused yourself.

Don’t worry, we’ll have you able to monitor any of the two crumpet threads you started (as well as the two or three other spin-off threads you’re responsible for) before you can say “I don’t care if I am to blame, I want to shout at someone.”.

I think I may have identified what the problem is, I think I may even have identified the remedy for the problem, but I can’t help you with “why the fuck did I create two, near-identical threads and then mute the fuckers. Both of them.”. That you’ll have to come to peace with in your own time and on your own terms.

The What

It looks like you have clicked on the “Tracking” button in the thread, and from the options of Watching, Tracking, Normal or Muted, you seem to have clicked Muted.

This is what is known as the “Brexit” setting in the trade, because it should be the default Tracking setting for all Brexit-related threads.

It, as it sounds, gives you no notifications whatsoever about the thread - even if you are replied to or are “@CB-Saint” mentioned.

It also, as you’ve now found, removes the threads from your latest topics view.

The Remedy

Using the post I made above…

…click into each of the threads you created to discuss crumpets and then scroll to the bottom (on mobile at least) and where you see

Muted you are ignoring all notifications on this topic"

Click it and select any of the other three options.

The threads should then appear in latest topics again and you will also receive notifications.

Please stay on the line to complete a questionnaire about how well your support operative “Bletch” has handled your concern today.

5 Likes
16

On a scale of 1 to 31, how well did Bletch handle your fuck-up today?

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  • 31

0 voters

17

I only voted 31 as there was no option for ‘like a cunt’

4 Likes
18

You are quite correct, on both counts. I feel, though, that you could have mentioned that the ballet shoes are specially made by Loake. Or did you just take that as a given?*

* Far from the only thing you take that way, or so I’m told.

1 Like
19

I am not allowed crumpet any more Tiffin I am afraid is in Vogue

1 Like
20

1 being shite and 31 being really really really shite?

Asking for a friend like.

3 Likes