:crumpet: Crumpets - The Beginning - Part I

The Ayatollah has some weird notion about the best topping for crumpets whereas I know what the best is. Unfortunately this is causing some discord.

So gang, what is best on crumpets (yourself is not a valid answer)

Nothing, crumpets are best eaten plain (I’m not counting butter/spread as a topping BTW)


Butter. Fucking loads of it. Nothing else.


Butter. Not spread. Butter. Possibly a smidgeon of Marmite if I’m feeling saucy.
Anyone who has ham, paté or cheese on a crumpet is a fucking weirdo.



Butter lots of while still hot.
And a decent lumpy Strawberry Jam

Butter is the only answer…

or butter and peanut butter (Pip 'n Nut - almond butter).

One of my earliest culinary memories was my dear old Mum crouching over and open fireplace toasting Crumpets on a Toasting Fork.
Butter, that was the only marinade…lots of it. :lou_lol:

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Ah the days when one could get one’s fag to toast ones crumpets before roasting his buttocks… old school days at Charterhouse we such wonderful crumpet ‘feasts’ for one fags


I was going to put this in the funny things thread but thought it deserved its rightful thread
obviously this is a crumpet with cheese.


WTF am I looking at Phil?

Or perhaps I already know but don’t want to believe it.

that is a foot I believe weird I know

That saves money on buying anti-ship mats


Yeah, I got the foot bit.

But I was hoping you might throw some light on the appearance?

That would be some sort of fungal infection foot root

NB it’s not mine :slight_smile:

Well, I’d prescribe Athlete’s Foot for the poor bastard.

If it had been your foot I would have prescribed Pisshead’s Foot.

Fuck me, that turned my stomach. Gross.