The Ayatollah is clinging onto weird notion of the best topping for a crumpet. Even though I have patiently explained why she is wrong and offered a far superior alternative, she is having none of it
So gang, what is the best crumpet topping
Cheese.
Pate.
Ham.
FFS I already replied and somebody didn’t like it so restarted the thread 
Crumpets should be eaten plain (I’m not counting butter/spread as a topping here)
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Bump
Marmite. Thread has been solved, please lock.
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Fucking pate you weirdo - even the Ayatollah thinks you are mental and she has no taste
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She is still laughing about it
So the argument was the Ayatollah is in the cheese camp and I said marmite, and having had a look through the answers we were both wrong and it was butter only
But we are not as wrong as Barry, fucking pate indeed
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What the fuck is it about toppings? Just wrong.
As has already been said - butter.
For preference, freshly churned by nubile maidens from the milk of prize Jersey cattle milked in the early dawn when birds fly unchained…or some such hippy crap.
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Butter/marge/vegan alternative. Anything else is just weird.
They’re not called butter sponges for nothing!
My partner puts jam on them. Weirdo.
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Pate goes with anything.
The only thing you should put on a crumpet is salted butter
End off
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Am I the only one reading this in a Yorkshire accent and pronouncing pâté so that it rhymes with gate?
Yes, weirdo
Strawberry yogurt?
Vanilla cheesecake?
Raspberry ripple ice-cream?
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Thank you all that liked it 
Yes
Weirdo
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Only if i believed any of them went with pâté or crumpets. Then again i used to like strawberry jam on fried slice, so still possible 
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