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Lockdown haircuts, volume whatever. Here’s my barnet, scissor-cut by my ever-loving wife:
Sadly, she couldn’t do anything about my face, but she’s done a great job on my locks.
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A handsome man if ever I saw one. Bletch always told me that you were an ugly bastard.
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He’s a handsome man alright, and remember that legend has it that he’s 700 years old.
He also has the feet and legs of a 20 year old woman - so does @Goatboy, but that’s another story.
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Looking good, but what’s with the green fairy sat on your shoulder? You been on the Absinthe?
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She can alight on me any time she likes.
The antibody test has been done and dispatched
As someone who has a quite extreme aversion to needles, it wasn’t a particularly pleasant experience. I minced around the kitchen unable to stab myself until the Ayatollah lost patience, grabbed the lancet and stuck me.
Then it turns out the silly cow got it wrong so had to do it again. FFS
I better have these bloody antibodies
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If you’re wondering where spiky pap has bIeen lately, he’s had his ire trained on someone else.
I bought a so called Next Day PC from a custom PC builder, local to @BTripz. I get an email the first working day of the order saying that despite the blurb on the website, which states the machines “are just waiting to be shipped!” they had in fact no Next Day PCs, but were advertising them anyway. They are still advertising 5 in stock for all of their Next Day PCs.
Order has been cancelled. Money refunded.
Fucking clowns.
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Nothing to do with me guvnor, honest 
I’m glad.
When I suggested that they upgrade the RAM to compensate for their error, they suggested it would take 10-13 business days to fit!
I doubt it’d take 10 to 13 fucking minutes.
Are they really THAT local to me, I can go around with my pick axe handle if you like?
They sound like a bunch of techotards/cowboys/shysters??
Upton shithouses, init.
I bought a webcam on EBay from a trader in Milton Keynes thinking it would be quickly with me.
It took a week to get here from, as Trump would say, “CHIYNAH!”
How the fuck are Ebay allowing Chinese traders to pose as UK traders. 
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ORLY?
You think you’re gonna get a result of an antibody test?
They meant it would take them 10 - 13 days to work out what “RAM” means.
If you want me to I can try to delete some more threads if you want to get angry again with people on here? I’ll start with “The home of happy golf stories” if you want.
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Too much time with the wife - you wanted to get on Chaturbate did you?
Shut up pricklord.
It’s out of my system now.
YOU ARE FORGIVEN*
* Yes, I talk a lot of shit sometimes
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Well PHE can fuck right off - they have been the most useless bunch of cunts during this crisis
They can concentrate on doing this day job like getting adequate amounts of PPE and leave us adults to make out own decisions.
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