Maybe they should shut the doors?
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More evidence that tying old people to chairs is beneficial
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I bet your neighbours will be avoiding you more than usual.
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Itās easy, been cutting Mr Tiggerās hair for years now, the fear of what could happen keeps him in line
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Theyāre funnier than you, although I realise that is a very low bar to clear.
It may as well be a line painted on a road.
I am prepared to change this opinion if you can demonstrate:-
- You had a prime time comedy show on ITV
- You were in a scene with Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmondson, Alexei Sayle and Terry Jones.
They are comedy genius. Everyone with shows on ITV are comedy genius, thatās the way theyāre judged. And of course theyāre funnier than me - Iāve never claimed to be a comedy genius.
Youāre very upset about it. Why is that?
Iām not upset, let alone āveryā.
Iām just not fucking amused either.
As I said, painted line on the road.
Is it my imagination, or is pap getting a bit fighty during lockdown? 
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Itās not just lockdown. Heās always been a bit of a tit.
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Fark orf.
Scrappy was famous for being shit in a fight. I share his size, but do somewhat better on the scrappinā front.
Just writing this one down in my jokebook.
COMEDY GENIUS*
*\ Although not yet at ITV standards
That wasnāt a joke.
I understand that you struggle with the whole notion of humour, hence your belief that Hale & Pace are ācomedy geniusā.
On the contrary, I think itās you that doesnāt get humour.
Hale and Pace not Ianucci enough for you? Not Marber enough for you? Curbed your enthusiasm, did it?
What you know about comedy that I donāt I could probably write on my cock.
Itās not that I havenāt seen or donāt like the stuff you like. I like other stuff too. In fact, I like more stuff.
So please, in that context, tell me how it is that I donāt get humour? Youāre the one crying off entire acts.
All i said was that Hale & Pace arenāt comedy genius.
Iām sorry itās lead to this Trump-like meltdown where you insist you know all the comedy and all the best comedy.
Pap, iām genuinely interested in what you could write on your cock.
Almost nothing. Now you see the problem.
Iām sure Hale and Pace would have made a great gag out of your cock.
Iām just saying I likely like everything you like and more, and Iām not upset that the barriers that exist for you do not exist for me.
Almost nothing?
Bloody hell it must be bloody enormous.
I could possibly get Almo at a pushā¦
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