Lolz
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Perhaps wise to have the headphones on at work or with kids around
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Meet the Girls.
Their FB Page cover photo.
You may joke, BUT sales of their output to neighbours this last month actually paid our internet/phone Billâs & a portion of the Electric/Gas Billâs & 5 of them are just about to start laying to add to that
An eggs sell ant project
Secret diary of Paul Taylor, aged 45 1/24th
Fuck me, you can tell that my daughterâs amusingly named boyfriend is coming today. She was observed, not fifteen minutes ago, taking a vacuum cleaner into her room.
I am anticipating the accumulated waste to be turfed down the stairs. I just hope any human remains are wrapped in the appropriate length carpet. We live on a main road. It wouldnât be seemly and for once, you see and hear the coppers every day.
There are rumours that the old bill are stopping anyone in cars with more than two people inside, asking why there are more than two people inside. Second daughterâs proposed solution for this is to hide in the boot.
Living in a city where groups of people have achieved massive things in the past, itâs a bummer when you think about the implications.
Under these rules, the Beatles would never have been able to jam, BUT Linda and Paul McCartney would have been able to go about their business, whether itâs making vegetarian sausages with meat in or whatever disastrous set of life choices that led to The Frog Song.
Linda was a pretty maligned figure at the time, but I say you donât know what youâve got until itâs gone.
Paulâs next wife was apparently legless all the time.
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Theyâve got to get six miles across the city. Fingers crossed.
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Come on whatâs his name then? The suspense is killing me.
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This should be in strangely compelling, as in lockdown could watch this for hoursâŚ
https://twitter.com/dodaistewart/status/1249881789503623170?s=19
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You fucking tease. 
You canât refer to âThe amusingly named boyfriendâŚâ and then not share the joke with us. 
Whatâs this paramourâs name then??
Is it Fred West?
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I think it might be Barry.
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I can say with some certainty that weâve secured the transfer of Michael Owen.
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I bet his parents tried to change that when he went to Manchester UnitedâŚ
Er, no - and for once Iâve got some pretty solid evidence.
Heâs still called it.
Better put him in a downstairs room, his hamstrings will never cope with the stairs.
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Shame. It could so easily have been Michael Hunt. 
Secret Diary of Paul Taylor, aged 45 1/24th
Having successfully gotten Midget Gem into our house, it would appear that weâre not done creating new chances to infect ourselves. I have learned from the missus that tomorrow, we will also be hosting the other boyfriend, a much more dangerous proposition from âripeâ London.
Iâm guessing itâs okay. I mean, if it wasnât, they wouldnât be putting trains on from Liverpool to London. He has been in lockdown for as long as we have, but even so, you worry about the bastard touching a service, licking a dogâs arse or having a bat sandwich from whatever sandwich shops are still open in the capital.
Iâve already consulted @Tokyo-Saint on this matter, who agrees with me that it is probably a bad idea. However, I am also hemmed in by my own feelings on this matter. The only reason he stayed in London was to look after his sister, an admirable motive. However, his sister has rather less admirably fucked off to her boyfriendâs place. I donât like the thought of him being stuck in on his own, so risk it we will.
If he ends up killing me my dying words will be âI told you to come up three weeks* ago, you little cuntâ
* Timespan subject to change depending on my own resistance.
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His nameâs not Robbie Fowler is it?
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In case the British Transport Police are reading, yes. Yes it is.
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Secret Diary of Paul Taylor, aged 3/48ths
Addendum. The eldest is hosting her fourth quiz night. She is a natural presenter (bossy bastard with a splendid vocabulary and a lively way of speaking, literally*).
There are around 30 people in teams on her Zoom screen, including the youngest and the newly installed boyf-unit. On that note, the move has been a successful one, more than vindicated by hearing the little girl chuckle at his japes.
Somehow she thinks his jokes are better than Dad jokes. I probably know why. Installed boyf-unit is also a budding and pretty talented impressionist in his spare time. Heâs probably doing impressions of me.
Back to the quiz, it seems a small thing, but itâs a huge thing. Both the Taylor units are contributing in their own way. Firstborn is providing an eveningâs live entertainment in a world where there is little. Lastborn is stacking shelves six days a week and putting herself at risk every day.
I am naturally very proud of the 'borns in this period.
My job this evening is to teach Gingora how to play Stardew Valley. She is super annoying on the games front. She claims not to play games but spends endless hours tapping and swiping at her iPad, playing games.
Iâm going to have to teach her that buttons are a thing again. Fuck.
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