So here we go. Star Trek The Original Series Review.
What a crock of Shit.
By modern standards it was just a MESS. Obviously, we do not remember it that way…
Starts with the Jeffrey Hunter Pilot Episode. Spock is unrecognisable, in fact a pllank of wood probably acts better than he does. Actually, when I “starred” in a Merchant Ivory movie with Hugh Grant, MY acting was better than Spock.
What was important about this episode is that it set the standard for a tendency for Star Trek shows to go “Mental” rather than “Alien” - in fact the number of episodes across all the series where the crew are having their minds bent is out of all proportion.
Next we notice the mess that the cast is. No sign of Scotty for a few shows, Yoe(Wo)men come and go and the Bridge Crew changes as fast as Kirks uniform - yes he wears a GREEN top in almost half the shows not the yellow. In fact, Chekov (who we all imagined as a permanent fixture does not show up AT ALL in the first series! The Uniforms are a giveaway - Kirk is wearing Green then Yellow THEN he is seen in a Jeffrey Hunter style top - all out of sequence - it is as if the producers edited the sequence all over the place.
The Sound Stage - Oh come on, Dr Who got canned over the Cardboard Sets in the late 80’s, tis was worse. The one set of rocks must have appeared a dozen times throughout the run. The Monsters? Absolutely WHAT was the Poo Monster doing alongside Abraham Lincoln (on the same sound stage)
nd back on the subject of Aliens, in at least 4 episodes, Enterprise is “Intimidated/Invaded” by coloured Lights. I mean COME ON! At least have the lilghts flash in a different order FFS.
I could go on, the episode with Gorn - where Kirk makes Gunpowder and a cannon out of a Toilet ROll Holder, some string, brown paper and a piece of Bamboo…
And then, Kaboom. That was it. In the last ever episode Kirk is Body Swapped and goes all Lady Boy or something while my Ex Wife inhabits his Body and decides to “calmly” take over the Enterprise and be Captain. Seriously? No WONDER it got dropped it was SHIT!
And you all of course know the BIGGEST Lie of Star Trek?
Kirk never ONCE says Beam Me Up Scotty. - NEVER!
And that was it. One of THE most important TV Shows in Hstory was actually utter SHIT b y every possible standard of modern TV making…
And yet it was BRILLIANT. What we realised, coming to TOS after “Enterprise” is that what was GOLDEN about that show was the Ensemble. The fact that you could laugh because Spock raised an eyebrow (long before Michael Caine copied him), Or Scotty with a bad hair day just has to scowl, and you just know that today, someone would arrest McCoy for his “prejudiced Love-Hate” relationship with Spock.
You realise watching again that Spock actually GOT LAID. That Kirk was a really bad Lady Boy (Or Boy/Lady). That Gorn IS possibly still one of the GREATEST TV Show Monsters of all time.
What we both realised as we watched that show was -
God It was Brilliant, we loved it and we miss them all.
I just hope that Discovery manages to find that spark between the cast and it comes out more TOS than the “technically superb but empty” Enterprise.
God blsess Gene Roddenberry - what a marvellous mess you created.