Me, sat here until Sunday. Complete quite and nothing moving faster than the rivers flow. Lots of food, alcohol and a couple of books to read(almost forgot, some fishing rods as well).
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Yeah, letās all head there, drink his alcohol and do ābombsā into the river!
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Place called Wateringbury, in Kent. River medway, about 10 miles from Maidstone.
Good fishing and iām about a mile into farmers fields off a tiny country lane, so no traffic noise either.
Weather so good, i doubt Iāll bother putting the bivvy up.
Drinking cider, watching the river go by and listening to the birds.
This is my kind of relaxation 
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If it gets hot tomorrow, i will go for a swim.
Everyoneās welcome, just bring booze and ice(mine will have all melted by thenš„
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One assumes you will start a fishing day thread, keeping track of baits used what got away and how you only caught the Sun?
Or, here are a load of empty bottles. Mustāve been what i drunkš·
Just opened a Carmen Stevens SA.
It very good, which means i had better get cooking soon.
The Polish Wedding. We have been given a dossier, with timings, where to stand etc.
Imagine a Brit Wedding with Trooping the Colour precision
Mrs D_P is a Godmother so we canāt just rock up, also itās a devout Catholic gig so they have to give me cues to kneel , sit, stand so I donāt look like a prick & ruin the day. (Remember I know 6 Polish words basically. Beer Voka & Bacon & derivatives, so Iām out.)
It kicks off at 6am FFS sheās off to breakfast hairdresser then make up. I have to collect her at 10 with flowers & lucky lottery tickets. WE go to Grooms house she ties him up or something & the Priest does a blessing.
We hurtle home she changes into a 2nd frock, we take in laws to the Salt Mine (Or is that just where the gig is?)
So Catholic Wedding about 3pm then to the party venue. The couple eat bread & salt, drink bubbles, with hands tied together, smash the glasses and do the 1st dance routine. Music will be 75% Polish pop and Polka, 25% Europop & Rock.
There will be food. About 20 courses of food. And buffets. The REAL problem is the booze.
Each table will have a jug of juice. It may be Orange for an hour, then Apple or Grapefruit
And Vodka. Never ending bottles of Vodka.
In shot glasses, to be downed when toasting or sipped when thirsty.
No Pepsi, (although with a 7am finish time I WILL be smuggling some Red Bull in
At 7am we can fall upstairs to our hotel room. And check out is at 10am
FFS
NORMAL tradition is that the party restarts exactly 24 hours after it first started and lasts until 7am. Luckily the couple decided against that and are off on honeymoon instead of to hospital as usually happensā¦
It will be wonderfully Village Hall. They are a true pleasure of everyday life.
The match day thread will be on the pickled page, obviously. There may even be photos if they have Wi-Fi
Did I mention Vodka? Neat Vodka? For 14 hours?
Think even @PhilippineSaint would struggle with thatā¦
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Once went to a Catholic wedding (my lovely cousinās) in a church in Rome. A lot of standing, with some sitting. I wore killer heels. I think it was the last time I wore any type of heels.
Anyway good luck! Looking forward to random updates.
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Leaving on time from work on a Friday on a duty week. There was a mention of a difficult case at the end of the day but thankfully nothing that needed an urgent response. Off out of London to tomorrow for some R&R in the countryside.
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They are upgrading the rail network here. Lots of new sexy sprinter & cross country trains with all the bells & whistles. Also installing high speed tracks for their Pendolino (TGV,) service.
But sometimes we still get the classic old clanking communist era machine on the line to the village.
What trains should look like
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āDerivativesā is quite an advanced word to know if you only know 6 words
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Adult Game Shows at holiday parks, knowing the song and winning a bottle of cheap red wine
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Headache in the morning then.
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I saw one of those in Leeds today!
I may moan about my trains but not anymore
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Bloody Poles, coming over here, stealing all our jobs and making our trains redundant.
When you fix stuff you thought was broken, for free. Had a little time to review domestic tech issues this morning. My laptop, happily resetting itself and doing blue screens of death, finally gave me enough information to Google the solution. It is fixed. I also sorted the missusā computer this week. I, er, plugged it in. This apparently did not work for her, and sheād definitely switched the little 1/0 switch to 1, even though when I looked at it, it was set to 0.
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I may have been a bit naughty this morning waiting for the blessing stuff to start.
Need WiFi though
Youāve been Googling animal porn?
Thatās an outrageous suggestion.
Phil uses duckduckgo.com. which apparently doesnāt track you.
That, or the Woodland Animal Darkweb.
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