You poor dear. 
Cheques? Do they still exist?
Yes, they are playing Portugal right now
No they are Chechnyans.
I got one from HMRC yesterday 
The ignorant prick to my left refused to put his phone on silent last week at night.
I was woken 3 consecutive days. He did not wake despite insisting he had to have the phone on to respond to calls. I had video of him sleeping.
On day 5 i got the translator and explained Patients Rights Law in Ploand and that if he woke me again, 1. I would throw his phone out the window and 2 sue him and the hospital for about £50k.
I won.
And that is why i turn off the laptop at Lights out.
I am here 13 more nights, i may need 1 late night for England in a match that is important (cricket or football)
I can be a cvnt and watch once and take the shit, but not twice.
And anyway
https://x.com/nocontextfooty/status/1803157698617262185?t=sjN-3EgOKZaPUgcySqSgoQ&s=19
The Skates try to rewrite history. Southampton was the home of the D Day Operation…
The stupid fuckin IOW festival has absolutely fucked the road around Town Quay which is beginning to threaten my trip home to watch the footie
and because of the stupid road works in town I cannot avoid it short of going via hedge end
Should have got on your bike 
The football Gods did try and warn you…
Wishing I was still stuck at the traffic lights
Cancer
FFS why is this such an arsehole
The Ayatollahs bestmate, who we all thought had come out the other side last year has just been diagnosed with more tumours - everywhere
She had reconciled herself to a couple of months when first diagnosed, but then the treatments worked beyond the wildest dreams of the consultant and we all started dreaming
Now we are faced with the harshest of all harsh realities.
Its horrible.
Teenagers who treat the house like a hotel…
Ours is like that and we have to pay her £600 a month.
Can i move in and be a Teenager?
Anyone?
We pay her £600 a month to fuck off to Brighton but she keeps coming back! Should have got her to apply to Aberdeen Uni.
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… and the winners of Parents Of The Year 2024 are… 
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Ex Pat parenting was so much easier…
“I booked you a Taxi to the Airport”…
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Anything under 3 hours commute then you are going to get 7 loads of washing at least twice a month
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I miss her really.