Just got this urgent email. Being old, frail and vulnerable I don’t want to click on anything that might exploit me. Dose anyone know if this is a genuine email, it’s so hard to tell these days…
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If you send me your bank card number, card expiry date and 3 digit number on the back I’ll check for you, honest….
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That’s what they all say. I know you’re just trying to help but the last person I gave my card to is still on holiday in Iceland. 
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I’d never go on holiday to somewhere as low rent at that. You have my word.
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Telegram?
Ffs
Zelensky just used your card to buy 20 F16s from Nicholas Cage
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Shit…I had one of those phone calls from Amazon Secuity saying there has been suspicious activity on my card this morning and I thought it was Lady Slowlane stocking up on G&Ts. 
Everyday.
Every fvcking day last week i picked Mrs P_F up from the station and drove past an empty car wash, even saying twice we need to … and getting no time…
Today we have to go to car wash.
20 minutes waiting for vacuum so far bit she had no time on other days
Fvcking wimmin
Very nice too.
People who eat their food at their desk in the office but eat nosily… 
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Vegan Lunch?
You fvcking inhuman bastards! I have rights you know.
4 beans slop mash & carrot salad.
Wtf?
What’s worse, Mrs P_F cant make it today so have to eat it as she can’t bring in any sarnies.
Luckily i had some spicy ketchup a ton of salt and some pepper in my stash to give it some flavour
Car crash guy is out of ICU & Next to me.
He looks like a Star Wars Bar character. About 6 tuves hanging out his mouth/nose all with small tubes on them
He needs the lights down curtains shut my bedside light doesnt work so stuck in the dark cant read as Monday is busy day even yhe “exec lounge” is full of new patients waiting for a consultation
I could make a whole new musical chain of songs
Hotel California to start obv. But ive burnt too much data watching football and saving the last dregs for the playoff final later
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Broken home interweb router - can’t do any work online tomorrow 
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A joyful day spent power-washing patio and paths with only an hour’s unblocking of the sewer to relieve the tedium. 
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I’ve a drive, a couple of patios and assorted paths that need doing - What’s your hourly rate?
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Cunting cats going after all the great tit fledglings in the garden, I doubt any have survived 
Not going to bother with a bird box next year it’s too stressful.
And people voluntarily take Steroid meds?
Extortionate. And double if I wear my mayoral chain.
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Just your Mayoral chains 
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