Knowing im having my last Cigarette as i have to give up from tomorrow.
Fuck.
Cancer?
Thank fook no butā¦
I have a long post to do tomorrow with a hint of Thank God Iām here not England.
Thanks for the support @Cobham-Saint last few weeks have been āstressfulā.
Until tomorrow
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A long story Part 1: Some background
Poland has a National Insurance System which if you are employed means you can get access to Specialist Hospitals, there are lots of Hospitals in Krakow. Unemployed or Pensioner? You get the basic General Hospital and waiting times of UK circa mid 1990ās.
These Specialists are semi-private - paid by the State Insurance. Also, in each larger suburb, we have Diagnostic Centres - you get your GP to give you a prescription, tests are free OR you book online & pay. Some of these have Ultrasound and a few have MRI.
Current wait time for an MRI in town is about 7 weeks. A "private Ultrasound costs about 50 quid with contrast 55 quid.
Alongside this, in 2015, the State introduced a āFast Trackā DILO Card - it basically jumps all the queues IF Cancer or related illness is suspected, and is issued by a GP
Iāve learned all about this over the past 4 weeks.
The story isnāt a gloat vs the NHS, more of a how fucking lucky I am that I am here and, tbh, how amazing the āProcessā last 4 weeks have been after all the stress.
More later
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Part 2
I had a great tour to the mountains end of March 4 days 3 nights away. got home, Mrs P_F gave me a hug and found a lump in my neck under my ear. She got stressed but got googling. This was 27 March. Next day at 10am I paid 14 quid for a Blood Test for nasty shit, results were back by 16:00 negative. She had also booked me an Ultrasound (cost 25 quid) for the Friday (4 days after discovery) He found 3 āthingsā and didnāt know what they were but said get to a specialist fast.
The weekend passed stressfully and on Monday D +7 I saw the village GP - She went over the Ultrasound and confirmed it looked like Tumours and booked a hospital āregistrationā appointment with the regions leading Laryncologist the next day (SRSY!)
Crack of dawn we are there, big queue, Mrs P_F walks in waving the DILO card. We wait an hour or so and they come out and say to meet the Surgeon at 2PM the next day (Discovery +10).
Surgeon is in Surgery we wait she looks at the Ultrasound books me in for a Biospy tells me there is a massive infection in my Jaw & Sinus, we call village GP get special antibiotics prescription. Dentist booked for investigative surgery & to take a sample of the infection for D + 14 days. Surgery done was a small piece of broken tooth (which got extracted) would seemed clean, no Cancer, sample sent off (100 quid). D +16 days Biopsy done.
Mrs P_F hitting a brick wall booking MRI - earliest date is 28th May. She tries a clinic in Tarnow 1.5 hours east 7:30 next day confirmed. We arrive early, huge queue. New secretary had started the day before and thought each MRI would take 30 minutes so when we called she saw a gap and put us in - thank God she was incompetent, us and 6 others got scanned a month earlier than expected. The Scan was finally done at 22:00 home via McDonalds at 1am. We are now at Discovery + 18 days.
MRI showed a Tumour in the Saliva Gland āsomething elseā maybe a Cyst or a Tumour on my Lymph Node and a 3rd smaller mass doing no harm.
This Monday she couldnāt get through to the Hospital, Tuesday she managed, appointment with Surgeon for yesterday Biopsy results were back.
Saliva Gland has to go as does the whatever on Lymph node. Biopsy results show nothing, not cancerous but not what it is. She goes off to book the surgery.
24th May. Holy shit that is 8 weeks from Discovery day, absolutely insane and (hopefully) gives a better chance of the Op going well. Basically I will have one saliva gland and will be fine, but if I keep smoking it will 100% occur again and it will be game over pretty much so itās nearly 19:00 here and the nicotine patch is working and I have only strangled 13 people.
Op will take about an hour and I get an overnight stay. There are risks the facial nerve is very close to the Tumour and it can get damaged easily turning me into Harry Twitchyface Redkrapp and needing surgery on the nerve. Also IF she finds more shit or it is nasty stuff she may have to sew me back up and then rebook and prep for some pretty major surgery asap.
Anyway.
Iām annoyed, itās my fault, I gave up smoking for 7 years and fell off the wagon.
Iām also astonished how brilliant the system/protocol has been and how very lucky I am as this shit needs to get done fast.
There is a good chance I will be able to still go to Rome for the Golf
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The biggest annoyance was not being able to chat about it. Grandkids flew to Orlando on a twice cancelled dream holiday 8 days after we found the lump, we had no data and it was pointless to say anything as it would just cause worry. A mate in Dubai chatted on WhatsApp and I unloaded on Cobs here, but the fear was someone would say something & ruin the kidsā holiday.
Now we know something, they all have the story
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I had something very similar more than twenty years ago Phil, I too had a salivary gland removed, function perfectly fine with just the one thatās left. Also had the warning from the surgeon about surgery causing possible damage to the facial nerve which would leave me with one side of my face drooping, thankfully due to the skill of the surgeon this didnāt happen.
Packing up the ciggies is a must, I too was a smoker, although the past ten years it was just the occasional social puff when I was in the pub. That being said, I also enjoyed a jazz woodbine too regularly if Iām honest. This all stopped when I had my bout of pneumonia, that did put the wind up me and I havenāt touched anything smoking related for nearly six months, itās been a breeze to be honest, no patches, itās amazing how a serious illness concentrates the mind!
Good luck with the surgery, Iām sure you will be fine, I will be thinking of you.
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Cold water pipe supplying upstairs has just sprung a leak in a joint. We have a flood. They have no cold water
Youāre in Poland. Donāt all plumbers come from there?
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They all left.
To Norway these days
Canāt find one in Engerland these days.
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Oh fuck off BBC woke interviews while we could be watching the Pipes and Drums REALLY?
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Getting this email from the National Lottery
GOOD NEWS
Youāve won a prize on The National Lottery
Youāve won a prize playing one of our draw games on Saturday 6 May 2023. Sign into your account to find out more.
Ā£5 plus a lucky dip 
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If you had the wisdom bestowed on all pensioners you would embrace a windfall like this. A Ā£5 prize could keep you out of the Food Bank for another day. 
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Doesnāt even buy a pint these daysā¦
Yes it does depends where you live I could get approx 4 pints for that at home and 1 & half pints in the Langley Tavern.
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Guests that donāt leave promptly in the morning
Youāve been fed and watered - now fuck off
āI love this view I could sit here all dayā
WTF - Ayatollah had to wrestle the carving knife off me
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Bunting - especially the stuff the Ayatollah bought which comes in eight mile stretches and she expects it all up by 12.30
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Mine didnāt take long.
But then, 1.8 metres of bunting held to the guttering with clothes pegs and 4 flags stuck in the flowerpots was never likely to. 
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Weāve decked out the main building with flags of all the nations from whence our staff come.
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I have had two annoyances today.
Security at Manchester Airport had one lane open, manned by jobsworths at 4:30 am today. A queue of about 100. They made me completely empty my hand luggage as they thought the satnav was a bomb. Had to take off my shoes for separate scanning. They temporarily lost them. Took 70 mins to get through.
Itās bad enough having to self-checkout in a supermarket but have you tried doing it when the instructions are in Icelandic?
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Translation app?
(& Engerlish is their official 2nd language - which I didnāt know until a local told me the first time I visited)