Excellent question, Iâve been wondering that too.
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Got dumped in the Finzelâs Reach Premier Inn in Brizzle last minute - had to wait half hour for food and it turned up lukewarm.
Waiting staff absent so took plate back to manger who mouthed âshitâ as I walked up.
Free replacement meal and big glass of wine - fair result as have nothing better to do this evening 
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Donât they even give you plates to eat off?
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Damn you autocorrect!!!
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They are still under arrest they were moved from Malabo island to the mainland but have now been seen by the lawyers a doctor who says they are still in good condition and the company HR dept. That is as much as anybody offshore knows.
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The bad news is I am going to replace one of the persons that is being held.
We also had extra immigration checks and baggage checks on leaving Malabo which was a bit suspect as both bags targetted were mine. Opened in the presence of myself a company rep and the baggage officials.
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Spending a gazillion on an extension and new kitchen and then finding out that your coffee machine doesnât fit in the place you thought it would be going and the Ayatollah has gone all Marie Kondo and wonât let you put it anywhere else
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Knock it all down and start again. This is what the Ayatollah expects 
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Or buy instant.
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Fuck off - one of my simple pleasures in life is a decent cup of coffee from my bean to cup machine
That said I had a cup of coffee in McDonaldâs last weekend and I have to say it is better that most of the coffee chains out there
You go in a McDonalds???
Fucking heathen.
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Which neatly sums up the whole coffee snobbery thing.
Mind you I quite like the smell of coffee but it really tastes like shit imho.
But as @Lets-B-Drinking said - you go into McDonaldâs?
A cheeky drunken burger and fries is just about allowable, but a coffee?!?!
I was moving - I needed free labour. Turns out people will put up with a fair amount for the promise of a sausage and egg McMuffin
And that is my guilty food secret - I fucking love a McDonalds breakfast
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Iâve screenshotted that, for when you come to your senses and delete it out of shame. 
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In the interests of Feng Shui I would expect the infernal machine to be banished to the garage.
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Speaking of infernal machines - the new Quooker tap that the Ayatollah insisted we couldnât live the rest of our lives without is fucked already - 10 hours it lasted
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Ah yes, boiling water that shoots straight out of the tap. What could go wrong, eh? 
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