These are shite. Last time I tried using them, I woke up to find a molehill right next to it.
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Looks to me like youâre making a mountain out of a molehill with this one.
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That bastard mole is doing that without my help
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Obvious and repeated questions.
I am on site atm.
âBack again?â, I hear a lot.
Cracked around 15 minutes ago.
âNo actually, Iâm not. This is a hologram which I am controlling from Liverpoolâ
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Obvious and repeated questions.
When are you leaving?
When you have been in the country less than a day.
Where have you been?
As there eyes glaze over not in the least intrested (why did they ask the question) Yes i know they were being polite. but that also includes listening to the answer.
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Last minuters.
Iâve been on site trying to get a project launched. The deadline for submission is 8pm tonight, so I was most alarmed to find that one of the key functional testers hadnât even bothered looking at it until today. And she found problems. Joy.
Fortunately, I was able to turn it around. We are going live. Finally.
If we are talking deadlines -
clients who ask you to break your neck to meet a deadline, then call you a fortnight later with a minor query - at which point it becomes apparent that there was no rush as the project isnât happening yet.
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Implementation of new IT database which has been tested but is rubbish. The training wasnât up to much as test database didnât work. If you balls it up they have to roll it back losing any work youâve done since.
This isnât an annoyance but an update for rally boy. Not sure if you instigated it. Being told not to wear ID card and lanyard as someone has threatened a member of staff.
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Hurrah!!
Take back your freedom people - do not walk around town in an ID badge - these people do not own you!!
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When youâre sat in the trap in the campsite toilets texting and posting on here, and the bloke next to you sounds like heâs doing a particularly avant garde trumpet solo.
Heâs got some lungs Iâll tell you.
Itâs not proper camping like Bear would do and you shit in the woods then?
More of a field, Phil.
I just hope Satchmo took some wet wipes in with him.
Pebble-dash can be quite attractive in the right place.
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You could have left your post as just âcampingâ and I would have agreed with you
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Timekeeping.
I will be there at 12:00
13:00 where the fuck are you?
! will be there in half an hour
15:30 Where are you then?
I got delayed by (excuse blah blah blah )
Fine but if you organise the meeting fucking turn up.
or
We are leaving at 10:00.
oK.
Its 10:30 when are we leaving?
I just have to do this?
How long will that take?
About half an hour.
Ok
Its 11:30 are you ready yet ?
No I am just doing this I will be half an hour.
aaaargh
If your not going to turn up fucking say so if your not ready tell me how long you will actually be not what you think I want to hear.
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When you are in the trap at a campsite toilets, after some dodgy BBQ food and need to feel comfortable to let out some tasty tunes on the old arse trumpet, only to hear the bloke in the next trap, tap away at his phone, surfing animal porn whilst making the âtchuk, tchukâ sound interspersed with the odd heavy breath⌠puts you right off, I can tell you.
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Itâs a well know fact that I am very nearly perfect in every way, but I am shit at timekeeping.
Itâs odd, but Iâve never seen an agreement over a time to be an actual commitment.
Business is a different matter of course, but I do find it mildly amusing to see others stressing over time. I think I must just be a cunt.
Fancy a beer next time youâre over, Phil?
How about we meet at 5:30am in The Rockstone?
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If the Rockstone is open at 5:30 am for me not a problem, day is yet to be confirmed but it will more than likely be April / May.
If its not open bring some cans and we can wait at the door until it does open.
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Selfies, particlaurly selfies taken by effing tourists in front of famous paintings (despite signs saying they are not allowed). Spent a few days in Paris last week and was constantly jostled out of the way by mostly oriental tourists with their selfie sticks taking pictures of themselves in front of Monets, Van Goghs, Reniors etc. Sadly none of the aforementioned seemed to want to take a selfie in front of of The Origins Of The World by Courbet, which would have been more appropriate!
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I saw a selfie stick at SMS the other weekâŚ
No, just no.
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