Iām glad my suffering had helped you, I would prefer more than a lager top as payment though.
I have a warm can of punk IPA you can have.
You, sirrah, have over stepped the markā¦
1 Like
2 Likes
The fucking Lark is still #1 in Classic FM top 300. How the fuck is that possible with so much actual good classic music to choose from?
People who listen to Classic FM probably 
Sadly true
Seeing a Blackhawk Helicopter fly low overheadā¦
Fitted with a full set of external Missile launchers and gun pods
Bloody cats in my garden.
Virtually everything is now protected by hoops and netting to stop the buggers either digging my veggies up or shitting in a tub waiting to be be planted.
My next step is purchase a modern super-soaker, which I can keep locked and loaded on the top patio area.
Have tried that electronic gismo that sends out a noise, but that didnāt work, so now itās all down to physical barriers and high powered water if I can catch them in the garden.
Have you tried dried Lion poo?
Iāve seen it in garden Centers - scares the shit out of movies (figuratively not actually)
Movies = moggies obvs 
I have been assured that we have tried this (I obviously do not remember!), and apparently it didnāt work! May consider trying it again - although I have fears of changing into that bloke in a film who collected animal poo from the zoo he worked in to drop on his brothers house.
1 Like
Drunk Germans.
Trying to sing Wonderwall
Itās a tad disconcerting that a Saints fans Granddaughter just sang along with my version of Ruby in the pubā¦
Nice lass though
You mean Vuntervall.
2 Likes
Sickipedia. 
I can live with the redesign, horrible though it is. And I can live with the feeble attempt to monetize the site via the purchase of so-called āgemsā, with which the hapless punter is supposed to gain additional access in order to award extra votes and post more jokes per day than the new daily limit.
But a swear filter? On a sick joke website?? For fucksake, next theyāll be deleting gags on the grounds of poor taste.
RIP Sickipedia, it was fun while it lasted. 
3 Likes
Sincere condolences for your loss.
2 Likes
I was a member of a football forum that had a swear filter, it used to change Scunthorpe to Sfrontbottyhorpe!!
1 Like
To quote Johnny Clarke,
ā¦ You put the cunt in Scunthorpe
And put the pain in Spainā¦
Lady Slowlane and myself sitting in a West Quay eaterie this morning (pre-shopping trip) eating our āTraditional English Breakfastsā
Waitress enquires, āEverything OK for you guys?ā
āNO, IT FUCKINā ISNāT!ā
" First of all I am NOT A GUY, nor as you can clearly see is my good lady. I AM HOWEVER, a moosh, nipper, old chap, old man or at a push, grumpy cunt. Would you please address us as people who donāt associate themselves as non-gender specifics or American nationals"
Next time we eat at anything less than a 5 star establishment we will be booking a table in advance using our full titles, laying out the kind of behaviour we have grown to expect.
Seething.
4 Likes
Canāt you sue the establishment for being not woke?
1 Like