Fuck sake, that sucks Barry. 
I thought youâd been a bit quiet recently. Unbelievable they still havenât sorted this out for you.
Originally posted by @Fatso
you stabbed her?!
With his Pork Sword.
Originally posted by CB Saint
Close, real close.
Ahhh, but he slips it wide from close range. 
Just had to gently slide it in at the near post, but heâs missed the target.
Heâll be kicking himself for that one for the rest of the night Jeff.
And I read that as
Fuck Take that sucks Barry 
Fucking poxy mail shots that put leaflets through your door (hand delivered, but not by postie) offering you BT Infinity at 56mbps as standard.
After calling the number, I find that my post code is unable to receive this service at present, and due to the exchange location and equipment, Iâm stuck with 3mpbs max!
IF I CANT RECEIVE IT, STOP POSTING THE OFFER THROUGH MY FUCKING LETTERBOX YOU FUCKING USELESS BUNCH OF UTTER CUNTS!
6 Likes
No wonder youâre stuck out on an oil rig in the middle of the deep blue sea. 
1 Like
Waking up at 3am and not being able to go back to sleep. An hour and a half later and I have given up trying knowing i am going to be tired and irritable for the rest of the day.
And now the fucking birds have woken up and decide to tell the world - bastards
4 Likes
Whereas I regularly have to wake up at that time to watch / listen /read reports of the evening games. does help not having to go to work the next day when doing so though 
Just noticed that Sundayâs game is now a 1630 KO. WTF is all that about? Surely if anything it should have been moved forwards to give Man City a bit more prep time ahead of an away fixture than recovery time after a home fixture?
What good does the extra 30 mins acheive, besides screwing up peoples travel arrangements, disrupting the 76 Cup Win celebrations, even later getting back home time for the away fans and little ol EoA missing the last 30 mins due to driving to work?
Cunting Cunty TV Ballbags.
4 Likes
This happened to me yesterday, I thought Iâll do a few bits and bobs on the internet, that wasnât working so I watched a loop of BBC World News which was brilliantâŠ
1 Like
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @PhilippineSaint
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @PhilippineSaint
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @PhilippineSaint
Originally posted by @Goatboy
Originally posted by @PhilippineSaint
Originally posted by @Goatboy
When some fucking cunt reverses into your new van thatâs parked outside your house and drives off like nothing has happened
Faith in mankind restored when neighbour pops across with photo of said cunts number plate
The bigger question is. What was your neighbour doing with a camera at the ready whilst eying up your van across the road?
Trying to get shots of the victims without paying.
Have the local fuzz been down to inspect the van prior to the imminent arrest of the miscreant and how much bleach have you used to clean it?
The WPC has plenty of time to inspect the inside of the van
Are they Stockings or tights
In other words did her toes curl?
The ones Iâve left attached seem to be curling slightly? Does this portend rain?
That would depend Curling down would mean rain but curling up would mean the onset of spring
As soon as it gets dark Iâll check.
People who keep quoting ALL OF THE CONVERSATION with someone so that everyone else has to get RSI as they scroll past.
6 Likes
Stroke and lift your finger then it will scroll past on its own
1 Like
Thanks.
4 Likes
Hanging out your arse through lack of sleep only to find that work has just run out of coffee. Can this day get any worse?
1 Like
Yes of course it can I am still awake to take the piss out of all and sundry
Finding out after 15 years of marriage that the one photo that went missing from your âspecial collectionâ that you and your fun-loving wife took of each other way back before kids and marriage, you know, the one photo with just your erect phallus and shaved bollocks on it, only ended up being used as a fucking bookmark by your fun-loving wife for her bedside book, who then only went and lent the fucking book to her mother, replete with a picture of your old charlie in it and itâs only been kept fucking quiet for the last 10 fucking years whilst you swan about in blissful ignorance of why the in laws always chuckle when youâre about and you think itâs because youâre a funny cunt.
13 Likes
When regular Sotonians members change their usernames to âardonâ without telling anyone, and you have to spend ages trying to work out who isnât on the leaderboard anymore but was the last time you looked.
Cheers Ant.
Shampoo.
As someone who washes what little hair I have with soap, I donât really understand the concept of shampoo.
But my issue is with the industry that tells us (my daughter predominantly) that we need to spend a fortune on the stuff.
Her current method of emptying her bank account is called TRESemmé.
Now this isnât any ordinary shampoo. No. The back of the bottle tells me that TRESemmĂ© has a philosophy.
Thatâs right
A shampoo with a philosophy.
The philosophy explains that since their inception. In 1948 theyâve been dedicated to ensuring that every woman is able to look their best.
The philosophy talks of TRESemmĂ© as an advocate for womenâs rights. It talks of TRESemmĂ© as the little guy giving it to The Man (expensive salon treatments).
At the bottom of the bottle is the Unilever logo.
Bunch of Kants.
8 Likes
Never read the bottle. Mainly as too blind without my glasses, once in the shower. But what an utter load of marketing bollocks. So I can add to everyday annoyances the mass bombardment of advertising telling woman they arenât pretty / skinny enough and better buy this pot of magic to turn them into a super model. Itâs pretty relentless.
5 Likes
You donât actually need the stuff. I use it, but I know of one forum member who gave it up in younger life. Left long enough, it sorts itself out. You apparently go through an uncomfortable âsmellyâ period, then everything is good.
Six weeks tops, Iâm told.