Yep, fags are evil. I gave them up as soon as they started interfering with my crack intake.
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When someone emails and says âHallo, I have got major problems and I need you to fix themâ.
I say âthis system has been in production for seven years and we last changed it two years ago. Are you sure you havenât changed anything?â*
âEr, we did a bit. Plus weâve never actually used it to do this specific, very different thing before. Can you still fix it please?â
I fixed it. Iâd grr more, but this all happened today. If I didnât turn this shit around quickly, theyâd notice they had a scruffy bastard working for them.
*Experience has told me to ask this question up front.
I have some sympathy, pap. Bet you get the other classic,
Brain dead user (BDU) âmy computer doesnât workâ
help desk wallah (HDW) âwhat do you mean, it doesnât workâ
BDU " itâs just broken"
HDW âwhat were you doing just before it stopped workingâ
BDU âwork stuffâ
HDW âcan you describe exactly what happened when it stopped workingâ
BDU âwell it was working fine and then it stoppedâ
HDW âcan you turn it off and on againâ
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Two hours of my fucking life on the BT customer chatline!
Itâs not even my phone problem!
âBTâ Customer chatline? Yeah right⌠
They wouldnât even tell me what they were wearing.
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Whatever the fuck is stinking out the fridge at work. So glad itâs not going to be an annoyance for me for a week and a bit. Some other sod can clean it.
And managers who cannot manage and donât know proceedures or policies.
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Originally posted by @Rallyboy
Two hours of my fucking life on the BT customer chatline!
Itâs not even my phone problem!
Barryâs?
Shit wifi on holidays. Absolutely first world problem. Mainly annoying as we cannot check out whereâs nice to eat. So far havenât had dodgy food yet.
Any wifi on holiday as it invariably means the Ayatollah keeps telling me what is going on in the miserable lives of everyone she is connected to on facebook.
The whole point of going on holiday is to escape that banal shite.
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The lack of basic care and attention in many communications, but mostly email.
No fucking joke, got an email from someone this morning in which the sender had spelt his own name incorrectly.
A few years ago, we had some dick of a project manager working for us on a contract basis. He wasnât really making a good fist of it, and was starting to aim the blamethrower my way, sending emails with 24pt text and shit, ccâing it to loads of people.
This actually did for him. The firm I work for does its most ruthless shit behind closed doors. It has no culture of hanging people out to dry in public, even if they deserve it. However, even if heâd not fucked up a load of other stuff, I think he would have gone. Not detail oriented.
How do I know this? The stupid cunt had âSenior Project Mangerâ written at the bottom of every single one of his emails.
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Originally posted by @pap
The lack of basic care and attention in many communications, but mostly email.
No fucking joke, got an email from someone this morning in which the sender had spelt his own name incorrectly.
Thatâs⌠epic.
With my full name being âAntonyâ, I quite often receive emails that commence âDear Anthonyâ. First time around I can handle it - the longer version is a more common way to spell it, so blame my parents. Itâs when I sign off an email with my name and they subsequently reply with the exact same opening. Sort of makes you wonder how many other details they deigned it necessary to readâŚ
The next person to do it is getting a random âhâ inserted to their name.
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Pic says it all.
When youâre driving along, identify a parking space, and are clearly literally in the process of turning the car into it whilst indicating â when out of nowhere, some cunt comes along from the opposite direction, cuts you up, and steals it from right under your nose.
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if you have an unusual name you get used to people getting it wrong, you just get slightly more sarcastic with every year that passes.
Oh, and is that your first name?..
I believe so, and it has been for 50 years, but Iâll start using it as a surname if that make life easier for you?..
Having a real simple name that no-one outside the South of England can pronounce properly.
Itâs âporlâ, not âpahrlâ you fucking plums.
Americans are the worst for it. They donât understand that my name is âPaulâ when I say it for them out loud!
Daniel Sturridge celebrating - that stupid thing he does with his arms.
Ridiculous.
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My surname is simple, it has 4 letters, the number of people that pluralise it or put an âesâ on the end is amazingâŚ
Yuuck. That makes me cringe everytime I see it.
Donât understand how on earth he can watch that shit back on Match of the Day or whatever, and not think â âOh my⌠what a tremendous fucking bellend I look!â
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Stripping off at Airport security again Brazil and Dubai had just a tee shirt and trousers plus shoes nothing in the pockets and still the machine failed me.
Take your shoes off "ok "
whats in your pockets "Nothing "
empty them âthere is nothing in themâ
why does the machine show there is âits a broken machineâ is again the wrong answer
If I could walk through naked I would but they would still get upset in Dubai about that, Brazil not so much of a problem
Accidently changing the language settings on your Google home page to Greek. One way to learn. So easy to do, so difficult to undo.