The tenancy ending party.
Byebye deposit!
Housemates.
I think of myself as a good housemate. Iām quiet, and generally keep myself to myself in my room playin my games.
My housemate however, is a nightmare. Thinks heās some sort of socialite, with his gigs, and his girlfriend, and his mid-week runouts with guys twice his age he met on the internet (thatās weird, right?).
Heās constantly camped out in the living room, making all sorts of noise, and bringing people back. Itās an utter piss take. Donāt even get me started on the racket he makes in the morning. How does one make so much noise before leaving the house for work?
I could, however, forgive all of this, if it wasnāt for the beer. Pretentious pontificating about some beer thatās 14% and only brewed one day a year by some fucking Belgian monks? Honestly, who gives a fuck. I think he tracks every beer he drinks and boasts about it online. I bet heās got a blog, prat.
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Twats that think they are funny taking deliberately contratian positions on internet forums to mock people theyāve never met, and generally think are sound, or belittle their everyday annoyances whilst also infliciting their own most banal of annoyances with shitty grammar.
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Take all the fuses out of the plugs in his room.
loosen the screws holding up the curtain pole
Super glue the volume control on his stereo
Pair your phone with his blue tooth speakers and take over his music
Get hold of an all in one remote and sync up his tv,
Put hair dye in his shapoo bottle
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Hack his sotonians log in and profess love for the Tories and all things capitalist
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Originally posted by @CB-Saint
Hack his sotonians log in and profess love for the Tories and all things capitalist
Dude, that is low.
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Over-use of the joke where people look for whatās been posted in the āā¦Annoyancesā thread and then write an exaggerated account from the other party.
And get more likes than the original post.
Fuckers.
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Originally posted by @KRG
Housemates.
Thinks heās some sort of socialite, with his gigs, and his girlfriend, and his mid-week runouts with guys twice his age he met on the internet (thatās weird, right?).
Barely believable mateā¦where are we going tonight. 
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@Ant, does he ever go away for the weekend? If so, cup of water and mustard/cress seeds under his door. Heāll have a nice green carpet when he gets back
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Originally posted by @CB-Saint
Take all the fuses out of the plugs in his room.
loosen the screws holding up the curtain pole
Super glue the volume control on his stereo
Pair your phone with his blue tooth speakers and take over his music
Get hold of an all in one remote and sync up his tv,
Put hair dye in his shapoo bottle
Liking this list! Reminds me of the old āseafood in the curtainsā trick.
Unfortunately heās put a lock on his door (which makes me panic slightly about just how filthy his bedroom must be and how much deposit Iām going to lose).
Coincidentally the lock went on just after a load of petty stuff had gone missing from my bathroom (shower gel, shampoo, toilet roll etc.) In a flat of two people, thatās pretty impressively dumb.
Some good suggestions in here Ant. 
http://sotonians.com/chat/neighbours-who-are-cunts?p=1
You are not alone.
When you do a good deed, like lending your āfriendā your lighter (because he forgot his) to take for his lunch, and then you get it back and take your own lunch, go to enjoy a nice smoke, and singe off all the fine hairs on your nose, and now have blonde eyelashes, because the twat thought it would be āfunnyā to turn the gas up on full. 
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The smell of grilled bogeys. Especially if the fucker is pissing tears over a burnt nose
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Pricks that try and steal my niche
Ohh, he was. Thought it was very funny.
He wasnāt so amused when he later found that his favourite coffee mug had been superglued to his desk though.
Who could have done such a thing?
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One solution to this, give up the filthy disgusting habit!!!
Originally posted by @BTripz
Originally posted by @Jack-Schitt
When you do a good deed, like lending your āfriendā your lighter (because he forgot his) to take for his lunch, and then you get it back and take your own lunch, go to enjoy a nice smoke, and singe off all the fine hairs on your nose, and now have blonde eyelashes, because the twat thought it would be āfunnyā to turn the gas up on full.
One solution to this, give up the filthy disgusting habit!!!
Youāre quite right of course mate.
Work is indeed a filthy habit. I should be getting stoned down the beach all day really. 
Seriously though, I hardly smoke at all really. One rolly after my lunch, one with a drink when I get home in the eve, one after dinner, and one before bed. Just something I enjoy, rather than a habit that rules my life.
Employees who bypass the chain of command, and by going direct to the higher management cause shit for the imediate supervisors, who promptly shit over the other employees and the instigator, causing uproar and unrest in the rank and file. ensuring that employee management relations go down the pan.
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I was really enjoying doing my panini Euro 2016 sticker album. It was fun for whole family really cos I like getting the stickers, and laughing at the haircuts, and sticking them in perfectly straight, and girlfriend, she likes looking through it and telling me which players she would like to bang. Almost all of them are āNeedā apparently.
But then I was listen to Talksport yesterday, and Darren Gough is doing his panini sticker album as a Feature, and it just ruined the whole thing for me. Itās just not funny anymore. I have throw it away, with prob Ā£50 of stickers in it and Everything RIP
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Give up the fucking cancer sticks dude. I am a self proclaimed evil ex smoking cunt who is on a mission to save you. Smoked for 25 years until I coughed up Blood one day and thought fuck thisā¦thankfully a nasty throat infection that have attacked the āsmoke damagedā lining of my throatā¦ but lets just say, when that shit came up in the Shower on 2 Jan 2014, I fucking shat it - was more than justs a little annoying thingā¦and was enough for me to go cold turkey then and there. It only felt shit for 3 weeks, then I felt fucking great and spent loads of money on a new bike to try and get fit againā¦ that bit has been harder - So quit the fucking fags
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