Our new midfielder.
FFS.
Everyone of my mates thinks I have a new obsession with Lemons thanks to my spell checker
Version:1.0 StartHTML:000000308 EndHTML:000247022 StartFragment:000240228 EndFragment:000246896 StartSelection:000240228 EndSelection:000246896 SourceURL:https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=sofia+boutella&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiQ78Tf_-zVAhVBI8AKHagYCDsQ_AUICigB&biw=1236&bih=562&dpr=1.1 sofia boutella - Google Search
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Absolutely. I love Bulgaria. Got a bit of land down near the Turkish border.
Edit: all remains were there already officer.
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When youāre woken from your slumber early on a Saturday morning to the sound of your landing ceiling removing itself and chucking itself down the stairs in some sort of dramatic āI told you having a new roof fitted would loosen my plasterā gesture.
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Fuck me thatās not plaster! Itās Wattle & Daub.
I guess youād know wattle and daub, @lifeintheslowlane .
I think Iāll get TimeTeam in to fix it.
Itās an old house but even so, I was surprised at how thick the plaster was.
It made so much mess and the dust went everywhere.
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Weāve got a new breakfast van on the estate at work, since the last one got shut down for salmonellas(!). Itās the Fawlty Towers of hot food service industry. Couple of Asian lads. I wanted a breakfast, my mate wanted a cheese & onion toastie.
Vendor: Cheese & onion toastieā¦ how do you make that?
Bear: Itās a cheese and onion sandwich,
Vendor: Yes
Bear: But toasted.
He give me dumb look like a dog.
Bear: *sigh*. Use your own judgement.
I watched him for a minute at his work. First job was to get a tin of beans from the fridge, and spoon some straight into a breakfast box. Donāt cook them or nothing. I couldnāt watch. I told him to bring it down when itās done.
Food arrived. Breakfast was ok, depending how you feel about undercooked sausage and cold beans. I couldnāt quite understand why there was a portion of chicken curry in there amongst the egg & mushrooms & whatnot, but it wasnāt unwelcome.
My mates cheese & onion toastie was unusual too. Would you normally fry the onions? I wouldnāt. I dunno if I would be putting sliced burger cheese in there either. I would prob have fkn grated something.
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Ahhā¦the eye of the professionalā¦you see I would have missed all that. 
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Jeremy fucking Kyle. His show is largely more lowbrow than Jerry Springer, almost exclusively featuring a succession of tracksuited sink estate stereotypes, guilty of anything from serial philandering to theft to wife beating, and sometimes all of the above.
The show employs lie detector and DNA tests, depending on the offence and whether it was blessed with new life.
It is almost pure poverty porn, ostensibly aimed at āmiddle classā snobs that want all their suspicions confirmed, or fellow members of the underclass that presumably take comfort from the fact that there are bigger cunts than them out there.
Of course, the thing I hate most about Jeremy Kyle is that the show seems to do legitimate remedial work with its guests, achieving stuff like stopping violent partners from abusing, which means you canāt entirely hate it. Fuck you, Kyle.
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When someone is unnecessarily rude or arrogant to or about you on sweb and you have to wait twenty four hours to reply.
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Give us the sordid details then dammit!?!?!
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You should come hereā¦tip us off and half a dozen of us go over there and systematically take the fucker to the cleaners. We look after our ownā¦nobody fucks with a Sotonian!
OK? 
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Haha thanks for the having my back but I would only bring that level of force to bear as a last resort.
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Well, if you ever need armchair warriors then you know where to find us
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Jeez slowly - you canāt be given out wrong DIY info to ignoramous 's like Bletch - that there is Lathe and plaster and typically comes down when there is a gradual change in temp/ humidity as caused by new roof/ insulation. In effect the new micro climate tends to cause the joists to contract or expand a bit thus loosening the lathes. Given the plaster wa soften an inch thick and fricken heavy, ceilings are particularly proneā¦ and not god when you are asleep underneath ā¦ best bet is bring the lot down down and go plaster board but this tends to mean expensive new cornicing as well - I know as I have about 100m2 of ceilings like this to sortā¦
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Shhhhh! You know that and I know thatā¦
The Wattle & Daub reference was an effort to get Bletch stirring up a mixture of steaming cow-pat and pigās urine to patch up the hole. Iāve been looking for an online link to some fetid recipe for the ancient ceiling poltice. If you can find it post it up hereā¦I doubt if heās tried to patch it yet.
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Here you go Bletch - this is from when @areloa-grandee (that shouldnāt have happened Modboy?) did up his own house
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The geek I in me enjoyed watching that. Thank you very much.
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