Had to go to meet a mate to plan NYE last Tuesday. It cost just south of 100 quid for about 3 beers each (9 in total)
I then point out Fark Me, could have booked a long weekend break on a Low Cost Airline for my Birthday for that.
Wife overhears and decides to prove the point.
Iām now annoyed as I have to find out wtf to do in Sofia with her for 4 nights in October.
New travel thread then
Not that it annoyed me, in fact I am struggling to keep a straight face, however the Ayatollah had just finished the weekly online Tescos shop only for the site to crash before she could check out. She is proper raging.
How can it be that you take a girl out on a first date type situation, get her nicely drunk, entertain her with ur best stories, manipulate her into spending the night at ur hotel, show her ur best moves of hairpulling, lip biting + boob groping, and she still steadfastly refuses to remove her pants? I blame Hollywood.
āDid you have good sleep?ā I asked next morning in a bitter tone.
āOh yes, lovely!ā
I didnāt. I was lie there 7 hours with a Massive Boner. 
Cheating Karma
The story was believable until the āmassiveā bit at the end.
On training this morning. One of those compulsory ones for tick boxing purposes.
The issue was the woman who loved the sound of her own voice. Not the facilitator but a fellow attendee. I wasnāt the only one who found her annoying.
Someone stealing my biscuits at work. Only bought them yesterday and already gone. Bloody local government employees.
Bake some āspecialā biscuits with a good industrial laxaxtive - youāll soon discover who the thief is.
Do you not have a locakable drawer that you can put them in?
Small lockable locker which is full of laptop and notepads I am supposed to keep in a paperless office where Iāve already recorded the notes on a database.
Bearsy refuses to hand over the cash which is why the underwear remained on and we already know he canāt get a boner with a paid for tart but one he hasnāt paid for there it is in its Morning glory.
Why am I catching flack here? Iām the fkn Victim! Itās fkn disgusting what this bird done, and I know for Fact she is taking a line from fkn Hollywood. Like that movie where Scarlett Johansson wouldnāt fk that bro till heād got a job & introduced her to his mum, and went back to college and whatever else. It sets a bad example! Doesnāt she know Iām on the fkn clock here? I canāt be taking her out every week! Iāve got a girlfriend to think about.
Hahahahaā¦you couldnāt make it up!
ā¦or could you? 
I recommend eating plenty of parjeni cartofi c cirine (Thatās the best cheesy chips in the world to you) and drinking plenty of shumensko dark beer or mavrud red wine. Then laughing heartily at the ridiculously small bill 
When the wife decides to organise a surprise āpartyā by inviting your mates to come to Sofia as well for Ā£12.99 on Ryanairā¦
And you fuck it up by spotting it on her laptop by accidentā¦
Assuming this means you have been, @goatboy , Iāve been curious about it for a while.
Would you recommend?
And then you ask yourself if shes remembered to invite everyoneā¦
Any of you lot planning to be in Sofia early on 19th October?
You are assuming that D_P will actually pick the bill up here Goaty
That why his mates have been invited
People who use the phrase āEarly Doorsā You do realise this Olde English phrase goes all the way back to the late 1980s when failed football manager and numpty TV pundit Ron Atkinson invented it as an elongated version of the word āearlyā
Previously the two unrelated words sat in happy isolation in the Oxford English Dictionary.
FFS quoting a numpty. 
Completely agree with you, 'slowlane.
It annoys the fuck out of me too.
Anyway, gotta run, catch you late doors.