you seem very angry. Do you want a hug?
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Fuckinā stupid woman on local village FB page. Announcesā¦Warning: man with black and white dog tried to entice childen with sweets" in said village. āThanks for thatā I sayā¦āIām a man and I walk a black and white dog in the village, like another dozen menā
Donāt you have any more detailsā¦a better description, like how old, tall, short, medium heightā¦dog, black and white Chihuahua or a Great Dane, where did it occur in the village, has anyone contacted the Policeā¦have you contacted the Police???
Um no, thatās all I was told but some men went out to have a look for him. Great! Iād advise any man who walks his black and white dog around the village should stay indoors for the next 3 weeks or run the risk of getting beaten to a pulp by a vigilante posse of irate under-informed men.
āOh alright I delete this thenā
āDonāt bother itās already been shared by another 120 idiotsā
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One of your dog walking friends is a sexual predator. Are you going to stand by and say nothing? Iād like to see all dog walkers come out and condemn this pervert. Why arenāt they all up in arms about it? Maybe because they support it? I would like to see the British Council of Dog Walkers come out with a statement about it. But they wonāt and the liberal left will be too scared to say anything about dog walking paedos in case they upset them. Thatās half the problem with the left in this countryā¦in allowing paedo dog walkers to go unchallenged they have opened the floodgates. And I bet the EU probably had a support group for these sick bastards.
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This sounds familiar but the spelling and grammar is all wrong.
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Iāll have that hug if itās still on offer.
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Heyā¦thatās a strong lead GB<geddit> I think BS has a black & white dog but thereās one fly in the ointmentā¦everybody knows owners of b&w dogs are never paedos.
It is on offer but now it inludes frottage.
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Testicles. In general.
I am quite serious. First, they constitute an ongoing and known achilles heel. Itās not the constant background processing all men subconsciously perform to calculate the current likelihood-to-get-balls-hurt percentage that is most scary. Itās the sympathy pain we all feel when we see someone else kicked in the balls, or come off a skateboard bollocks down onto a bollard.
Next. they occasionally constitute a complete crisis on the crapper. While Iām certain (cough splutter) that all Sotonians are clean living and pious types, but assuming that we all occasionally have that one bad morning, perhaps preceded by alcohol and curries. The bog is ordeal enough, but whatās that youāve just done, you hungover, ill-co-ordinated little hobbit? Youāve just wiped shit onto your bollocks, havenāt you son?
If youāre lucky, you will be in your own house when this happens, able to jump in a shower and pretend the whole thing never happened. If youāre not, you end up āflossingā with any available toilet paper just so you donāt get called āshitty-bollocksā for the rest of the day.
Testicles. The potential pain near your arse.
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I can, without any doubts whatsoever, guarantee that I have never wiped mine, or anyone elseās, shit onto my balls.
And anyone hurting their balls because of skateboarding deserves to be laughed at and then beaten severely.
Agreed.
On both countsā¦
People who get off the tube, in rush hour, somewhere dead quiet like Waterloo, rush up the escalator, get to the ticket barrier and then remember that they need their fucking ticket which is in their bag somewhere. Cunts.
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What person in there right mind wipes there arse going towards there bollocks?
It could only get messy
and is just plain wrong.
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Pap needs arse wipe lessons. I nominate Bazza 
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Heās probably using one of his leftie Britain-hating sandals, or a photo of Thatcher.
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There are some things you donāt want to know about your friends. This is definitely one of those things.
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This, a thousand times this. And the ones who try their not working cards a billion times before moving out of the way.
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Originally posted by @PhilippineSaint
What person in there right mind wipes there arse going towards there bollocks?
It could only get messy
and is just plain wrong.
You should have your own detective show, Philippine. This is great stuff. You have asserted that I must be wiping shit towards my bollocks when I wipe my arse.
Is that your final answer? Doesnāt really seem thought through. I mean, at the end of the process, Iād have a bunch of shit-laden tissue in the last fucking place Iād want it.
An alternate theory may be worth pursuing.
Those that know how to wipe their own arse will know that in order to get to the correct starting position, the one which involves wiping shit away from your bollocks, you have to thread tp through a rather shitty area and on its way through, particularly after a messy one, shit (literal shit, I shit you not) can be picked up and transferred onto oneās nads. Itās a bit whacky and far fetched though. Iād continue to posit your original watertight theory if I were you.
āThe man that brushes his shit onto his genitals because he is unaware of essential bum wipe directionā
Fuck it, Iāve been labelled worse.
What kind of marriage is it where you have to wipe your own arse? Jeez.
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Ahhhā¦old age, now thereās a reason to look forward to it. 
tbh, just anyone using tfl when I am. Theyāre all idiots.
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