I’ve long been a fan of the limerick format. Here are a few of my favorites.
If I’m not a sad pathetic creature totally alone in my enjoyment, please feel free to add whatever takes your fancy.
A mathematician called Hall
Had a hexahedronical ball
And the cube of its weight
Less the square root, plus eight
Was two thirds of four fifths of fuck all.
There once was a cellist called Cleo
Who shagged a conductor called Leo
As she pulled down her panties
She said “No andantes,
I want this allegro con brio!”
A randy young plumber called Lee
Was plumbing his girl by the sea
She said “Stop your plumbing,
I think someone’s coming”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me”
There was an old prince called andy,
When round younger girls got quite randy,
When his mate jeff was offed,
He chortled and scoffed,
‘He can’t squeal on me now, which is handy’.
There was a young man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
But his girlfriend called Nan
Ran off with a man
And as for the bucket, Nan took it.
The jolly old bishop of Birmingham,
He buggered two maids while confirming 'em.
While they knelt before God,
He excited his rod,
And pumped his episcopal sperm in 'em.
A football supporter in blue
Gave his favourite sister a screw.
He said with aplomb:
“You’re better than Mom.”
Said she: “That’s what Dad told me too.”
And another in the same vein, from a different era:
There once was a monarch named Ed
Who screwed Mrs. Simpson in bed.
As they bounced up and down,
He yelled, “Bugger the Crown!
We’ll give it to Bertie, instead!”
From the depths of the crypts at St. Giles
Came a shriek that resounded for miles.
Said the vicar, “Good gracious!
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles?”
There was a young man from Darjeeling
Who boarded a bus bound for Eling.
It said on the door
“Please don’t spit on the floor”
So he stood up and spat on the ceiling.
