There was a short bloke who took affront
When his mate Bletch called him a runt
He asked with disdain
Do I have to tell you again
I’m not a fucking runt, I’m a cunt
_ Bucks’ Poem _
There was an annoying twat called Bucks
Who got into too many rucks
Over which cider is best
He’d stick out his chest
And claim Strongbow drinkers are fucks!
There was once this forum called Saints Web
They used to ban all nutjobs for what they said
There was an old fella called Danny
Who harboured desires for a Granny
The older the better
But why had he met her
When Rooney was banging her fanny?
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so big he could suck it
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin
If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it
Hickory dickory dock
A girl was sucking my cock
The clock struck two
I shot my goo
And dumped her on the spot
There was a young lady from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In around an hour
Her cunt was a flower
And her tits were all covered in weeds.
I have that sinking feeling we’d have got the same results if the thread title had been…
"It’s National Poetry Day"
At least it’s not in The Arts section.
Until Keith got to the end of his tether
We used to post in a place Saints forever
Then Sainstweb was born
And you couldn’t post porn
or be witty, insightful or clever
A girl called Lou was a potent strummer
Chucked her job - a bit of a bummer
Some called it reckless
But she dazzled in Texas
Now she just yearns for a bloody good
The Lord of the forum was Pap
his bollocks all smothered in crap
at the Rockstone he’d dine
turning water to wine
while eating a venison bap.
The mongs from Skate Island are vile
And their team are the worst of the pile
They looked at the Prem
Said that’s not for them
And lost playoffs at home to Argyle
Mostly fine, apart from the eating in the Rockstone part.
There was an old fella called Furbs
Who used to be good with the verbs
Til Jezza arrived
Now his words are contrived
And his wife runs away from York 'burbs.
Then one day they ejected young Pap
For posting his usual crap
Like the pied piper of lore
we followed that whore
Saved a fiver and never looked back
There was a shy Tory called Cherts
Who believed that the BMA hurts
His mate Jeremy Hunt
(a right proper cunt)
So posts on TSW with blerts.
There was a forum poster named Verbal
Who also went by the name of Furball
But he left in a huff
about a joke regarding his wife’s muff
But at least it didnt involve inserting a live Gerbil.
Yeah, I think I handled that one with slightly more decorum.
Fuck, even Goatboy’s original comment did.
Might want to remove some of the explicit stuff, SOG. Your choice, but you’re validating a lot of Furball’s gripes there.