Trump is happy to the tune of Ā£110,000
Post could have gone somewhere else but thought Iād try a new thread for a changeā¦
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Golf & Darwin Award winner all in one!
https://twitter.com/TheWorldOfFunny/status/900420627529596928
So the Ayatollah has had two lessons and has dropped more money than Rory earns in a year on golfing shite. Now she is badgering me to go out for a round with her. I cannot see this ending well.
What should I do?
a) Feign a back strain
b) grin and bear it and hope it becomes an enjoyable experience
c) Borrow @goatboy spade and bury her under the 4th tee
You have a simple choice.
Either get up off your arse and give it a go.
Or we arrange for your wife to play a round with Bearsy & Gavstarā¦
Trust me both will have equally frustrating outcomes.
BOOM!
UnbeFUCKINGlievable!. I am IN!!! 4 Years ago at Gleneagles, the Tour were being offered in excess of US$1 MILLION for the Access Passes we had. And Iām being given one AGAIN! Right, Iām off to the gym!!!
Thank you for your recent application to volunteer at The 2018 Ryder Cup. We have had an unprecedented level of interest, with applications from over 80 different countries, which has been excellent to see such a huge interest worldwide.
Having reviewed all of the applications carefully we were very impressed with your skills and experience. We are delighted to announce that you have been selected to be a volunteer for The 2018 Ryder Cup and you will be assigned the role of Media Marshal.
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Wow.
OK shit is sinking in. No I will not bore you with golf stories for the next year - Iāll start a behind the scenes blog of something like Redslo.
But there is one other thing I am bouncing about tonight - TWO other volunteers that I have trained have also got in and are doing the sae media roles - that means out of around 300,000 applicants, and only 36 "Media inside the ropes crew, 3 of them are āDubai Krewā
Fuck yeah Iām bouncing
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Just to drag @dubai_phil back to the relevant thread.
Well done and enjoy it, but more importantly get that badge on national tv(BBC), final day.
Ā£20* to the charity of your choice if you succeed.
*I donāt watch tv so itās value is unfortunately small to me. Sorry.
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Yep me too Ā£20 for charidee. 
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And me! Ā£20.
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Ditto
Ā£20
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Go on then, Iām in. Phil, thatās a ton riding on it now.
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Sounds like a plan gang.
But fyi did it twice 4 years ago once on beeb and once on golf channel China. Will find the pics later.
Beeb was full shirt. China morphed into discussion of the team.
Some of the āeffortā from 2014 
BBC News -
Chinese Golf Channel. We spoke about how you volunteer, how many years Iād been taking shit from spectators, and the most time was where to find a stream to watch QPR vs Saints.
And the on course shots
Thought weād got the perfect spot to watch Patrick Reedās second shot in to the 1st Green. Turned out he only hit his driver about 20 yardsā¦
Donāt worry, I have thousands more
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1st āpublic service announcementā
Yes it is more than a year away, however, to buy tickets for the event you MUST Register - similar to Glasto - registration closes on 14th September after that you cannot get in.
I get the chance to get 1 friend ticket (at full cost of course) next January, but at the moment that is going to son in law so if you want to be there Google Ryder Cup tickets this week.
Iāve got an air bnb apartment so may have a spare sofa/blow up bed space in Versailles 15 minutes away from the course
But I assume for this one you donāt have to be under 25 and edgy to get in to the gig - in fact the opposite?
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Some actual proper Golf Stories
The PGA Cup is the Ryder Cup equivalent for club professionals, and it wasnāt looking too good for Britain and Ireland when they lost the opening fourballs 3-1 at Foxhills.
But they fought back so splendidly over the weekend in Surrey they completed something of a rout, losing just one of the 10 singles matches on Sunday for a 16-10 triumph. Captained by Saunton pro Albert MacKenzie, it was the first time GB&I had defended the Cup since it became a biennial match in 1984.
Meanwhile, at Royal Birkdale next week, it will be the turn of a 13-man team representing our injured servicemen who will take on their American equivalents for the Simpson Cup.
Among the home team will be the amazing Mike Browne, who lost a leg during the Iraq war and took up golf as part of his rehabilitation. At the age of 39, he is now playing off scratch.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/golf/article-4896762/Patrick-Cantlay-play-FedEx-Cup-finale-Atlanta.html#ixzz4t6LDhCfT
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
If you think this weekās FedEx Cup finale in Atlanta is simply all about the extraordinary riches on offer as the usual suspects chase the $10million bonus, then meet 25-year-old Californian, Patrick Cantlay.
Once a more feted amateur golfer than even Rory McIlroy or Jordan Spieth, life and fate took such a grotesque turn it was as if some malevolent spirit was determined to see him fail.
He needed three years away from the game to deal with the physical pain of a career-threatening injury and the emotional anguish of watching his best friend die in his arms following a hit-and-run. But Cantlay has shown a strength of spirit to go alongside his wondrous talent to take his place alongside Dustin Johnson, Spieth and Justin Rose in the 30-man field at East Lake.
Back in 2011, Cantlay was the ultimate canāt-miss kid. Aged just 19, he became the first amateur to shoot 60 in a PGA Tour event and finished in the top 25 in his first four appearances. Back in college he swept the board, and spent over a year as the worldās No 1-ranked amateur.
The problems began almost from the moment he turned pro in 2012. Warming up for an event in Texas, he felt a pain across his back so sharp his first instinct was that someone had stuck a knife in him. He took the rest of the year off after being diagnosed with a stress fracture but the pain returned when he started playing again. So it continued, into the next year and the one after that.
At the beginning of 2016, he was dealing with another demoralising specialistās verdict when he went for a night out with his closest friend and caddie, Chris Roth. Hopping from one bar to the next, they were crossing a road when Roth was killed by a hit-and-run driver. He was 24.
Cantlay, whoād known Roth since they were at high school together, gave the eulogy at his funeral. āIt still haunts me when I think about it,ā he says. āThere are not a lot of words that really describe how upsetting it was. Nothing is ever going to make me feel better about it. Time just heals, or numbs it a little bit.ā
There was no refuge in golf. He visited doctors all over America, even a specialist in Germany, but none could offer a return date. āOther than a one-hour physical therapy appointment each day, there wasnāt much point in getting up every morning,ā said Cantlay. āPeople would ask me how I was feeling but the reality was there was one thing I wanted to do and I couldnāt do it.ā
Eventually, months of therapy and a new training regimen brought merciful relief. By the start of this year he felt well enough to plan out 10 events granted to him courtesy of a major medical extension.
No wonder they say class is permanent. In only his second start since his break from the game in 2014, he finished runner-up in the Valspar Championship in Florida to regain his full tour privileges.
Cantlay didnāt want to push it. He stuck to his 10 events and reached the final one on Sunday needing a birdie at the par-five 18th hole at the BMW Championship to claim his place in the top 30 to progress to East Lake.
Reaching the green in two, he left the first putt 10 feet short but was not to be denied as the next one disappeared below ground.
Cantlay must have laughed inwardly when someone asked if heād been nervous over the putt. After what heād been through?
āI think everyone knows I was not in a great spot for a few years but Iām pleased to be back and make it to the final event,ā he said. āIt means Iām in all the majors next year and so Iām going to get a chance to compete with the best on a weekly basis. My body feels good, for a change, so letās see what happens.ā
In theory, he could start by winning the mammoth FedEx bonus on Sunday. But the real bonus is surely that heās in with a chance at all.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/golf/article-4896762/Patrick-Cantlay-play-FedEx-Cup-finale-Atlanta.html#ixzz4t6M23gch
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
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I thought you were getting jabbed by nurses not playing about on the golf course?
Iām reading shit online while sitting in the waiting room.
#resultsday
#moremeds
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_ _I know the answer but I WILL offer.
As a back up (to go watch the Ryder Cup) I entered the ballot for tickets as well. And of course Iāve āwonā
I do not need a ticket - obviously. Tickets are pretty much photo ID based (ala Glasto)
But the thing is I am allowed to buy up to FOUR Season Tickets, just one of them gets wasted.
So IF any of you WANT the hottest sports ticket next year I can get them, but youāll have to buy a dead ticket and try and find someone to palm it off onto.
Iām only asking I can get one for a bestie in January if I can be arsed and they are NOT cheap.
I do have accomodation to share for a couple and 1 single.
Message me - you have 7 days