Actually, he preferred the box
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This afternoon I picked up my first set of hearing aids.
After years of denial followed by trivialising and finally acceptance of the march of time I thought it was time to give in to the nagging and get my hearing tested.
It was much as I expectedâŚtop end hearing lossâŚmid-range not too bad, lower range good. Itâs the classic age related hearing loss. I knew what was happening as I hadnât heard the local Sky Larks on my dog walks for over 5 years, they are still there, just I could no longer hear them.
What I like about modern hearing aids is they can be tuned to your specific loss so theyâre much better and more easily controlled than in the past. It will take a few days to get used to them but now Lady Slowlane is complaining Iâm speaking too quietly. 
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Pardon?
Could type a little more quietly please. 
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Can they be tuned to filter out unrequired sounds? Such as Mrs S offering instruction, advice, guidance and measured criticism?
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I do believe they canâŚworth every penny, unfortunately there are a lot of them⌠pennies that is. 
Perhaps itâs because I go out with a girl who has the âwhingeyâ scouse accent (as opposed to the punchy or the imcomprecarraghable, but I learned this skill years ago.
I completely switch off after about 30 seconds of a phone call, I say âskip to the endâ like Simon from Spaced and Iâll just flat out walk away from a conversation Iâm hearing for the third time.
âYou are so fucking rudeâ, she says.
âI knowâ, I reply. âComes in fucking handy sometimesâ.
As @Intiniki once said (sarcastically) âwhat a catch!â 
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It came up elsewhere
8th wedding anniversary last week.
The Cake
The trimmings on the base were all stuff we did. I liked this cant believe I got away with it!
For the technically minded.
The cake was a Lemon Prosecco Mousse & rests on the helipad. Each table got their own cake.
The rest was sugar glaze.
It won a Materchef type award and was about 1/2 the coat of a Traditional Fruit Cake
21st anniversary today - I think I have developed Stockholm syndrome
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Are you in an arranged / forced marriage then? 
You based it on the Spinakker Tower in Portsmuff and cheekily added in a Saints logo?
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She took advantage of the fact that I was rarely in command of my faculties in my twenties
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Lastborn did her last exam of year two of University. It has flown by. Lastborn has been nicknamed Supertaylor by me on account of having all of the virtues but none of the drawbacks of our clan. She can do sports, FFS.
Anyway, we went over for a pub lunch to celebrate the end of this year of academia, just the pair of us. Lovely little lunch. Not sure there is much as edifying as a fascinating conversation with someone youâve helped make and raise.
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My last born went to a 2 night camp in which she was feeling nervous about sleeping over. Wants her mum atm.
Calls at 2am night one wanting to be picked up, to which we did make her stay until the end of next dayâs activities.
Asked by the teacher if sheâs coming back for the last dayâs activities, she politely declined saying ânah, sheâs rightâ.
Sticking it to the man early in life. My job is bearing fruit.
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Fucking new age parenting.
At the first sign of whining, Iâd have insisted they do the stint and on picking them up, would have dropped them off on a lay-by near the place most likely to contain werewolves.
Itâs the modern world. Youâve got to toughen 'em up.
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Sheâs tough, donât you worry about that. Donât need nor want the state telling us how to parent or to dull her enthusiasm for life
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This 
1 year from today Mrs G will be retiring. I suspect I will be getting a daily countdown.
Itâs not as though sheâs had a stressful end to the NHS career.
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You could suggest that you are looking forward to all of the household chores being done and a meal on the table when you get home from work
You may also want to learn how to duck
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