At first I was public enemy number one for weighing myself monthly. Now Iām being held up as some kind of portly poster child for fat fuckers.
And for the record we havenāt all fallen off the wagon. The Flyd Cat is getting naked every night and looking at his feet, hoping to see his average cock so he can do mean things to it.
And Iām on track to have lost some more. However I am on the beer next Monday (man flu permitting).
So fess up you shameful cock and tell us what you weigh weekly.
Thatās the whole point.
Youāre meant to be embarrassed by Le cock de shame. That, and our censure should make you be able to be in a foreign country and just, just for 5 fucking minutes stop shovelling lardy food into your gay gut.
Iām not one to be pedantic, as Iām sure youāll agree, Stench. However, I feel I should just correct you on one minor detail; in fairness, itās not something that you could have known.
I actually weigh myself in the middle of the day - on the stroke of noon, in fact. Naturally, Iām normally at work at that time, and this does pose a slight problem. My office is carpeted and, as Im sure you know, bathroom scales arenāt accurate when used on a carpet. Fortunately, the reception area has a hard floor surface, so Iām able to weigh myself there.
Do you really think I would weigh myself in the reception area of my workplace wearing only my boxers? Donāt be absurd. The only way to weigh oneself is naked.
Seeing as I have been whinging about my poor weight loss so far, itās only fair that I take the opporrunity to post a triumphant post - even though it is setting me up for a fall next week. Still, moments like this are too rare in the fight against flab. This week I wish to report in at a fighting fit, slightly less flabby, 77.5kg. This is even allowing for a bacon and egg breakfast at a greasy Joeās and a valentines evening curry ( Iām such a smooth bastard) with my gorgeous wife yesterday.
The fat fuck, Gay would have congratulated you but heās spent the last 14 hours trying to find his mobile phone which he swears is lost somewhere in his folds of fat.
Great levels of perseverance! (thatās you, smiler and not that fat fuck Gay).
Iām off out on the beer today (half term) so will need to double down for the rest of the week.
Mostly I have been eating cheese and ice cream and drinking beer and red wine. Iām on holiday so couldnāt give a fuck. I may have to go in goal on Tuesday which is not good because I still have virtually no skin left on my right arm after my tumble last week
This morningās weight was 80.6kg, whereas my average over the past week was 80.2kg. I always seem to weigh more on a Monday morning, probably becasue I eat and drink more over the weekend. Think Iāll stick with the average weight thing, as it is probably a fairer reflection of my progress. Nothing to do with it showing my weight as lower, of course!
Over the past week my lowest weight was 79.7kg and my highest this morningās 80.6kg; a good indication of how much oneās weight fluctuates.
I reccord my weight on a Saturday morning as I know that if I do a big weekend ride that my body will go into repair mode and retain fluid whilst it does so and my weight goes up about 0.5kg.
Shameful slurs ā¦ Bletch we know your body will be retaining fluid after the weekend ride as wellā¦ Itās just not your own, probably Goatyās
itās 4.45am in Bostonā¦ Yesterdayās travel resulted in about a 5000kcal consumption of crap food and beerā¦ This week I will become a stranger to the Gymā¦
Is that the best you can do? Fat club encourages insult by way of motivation. However, it must be of sufficient quality. Your attempts fail to strike the cold fear into the flabstersā¦ After all calling us fat fucks is like calling you a cuntā¦ Itās merely a truth, rather than an insult