I’ve got those as part of an Acca for Police Chief and Archbishop of Canterbury.
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“Oh, the twelve thousand grand old Duke of York…”
“I can’t sleep in this storm,” complained my wife.
I said “try counting fence panels jumping over the sheep.”
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she should have had 2 of mine
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I’ve one if needed as well.
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Tonight’s storm is looking bad, but I’m not particularly bothered.
Franklin my dear, I don’t give a damn.
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Ffs 
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Dare you to post the vid that goes before this….
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Went to Brook v Khan on Saturday night, what a fight!! I’m trying to arrange a rematch.
The bloke’s up for it, but I haven’t heard back from Foden’s mum yet.
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My local is having a Meatloaf tribute after closing time, if anyone’s interested.
Midnight at the Fox and Hounds.
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I would like to formally announce that I now identify as a woman and henceforth wish to be addressed as Gladys.
I don’t think they’re likely to re-introduce conscription, but better safe than sorry.
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Given the average age of the membership we’d all end up in Walmington-on-sea’s home guard anyway.
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I’m sharpening up a few bits of flint as we speak. 
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I glanced into my teenage son’s room and saw him staring at his monitor and wanking furiously.
The lizard was just staring back at him.
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P & O are using a new type of ferry.
Roll On and Fuck Off.
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Just read a TripAdvisor review on the Grammy Awards.
“Deeply disappointing, not what I’d hoped for at all.”
W. Rooney, Cheshire
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