This is pretty much spot on, IMO
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SIXTEEN Britons have injured themselves this weekend in complications relating to the new eye-testing system, police have confirmed.
Following the relaxation of lockdown, thousands of motorists have rushed to the roads to self-administer the new eye tests, so far resulting in 16 injuries.
Optician Helen Archer said: âThis is a 1,600 per cent increase on the previous number of injuries while taking optometric exams, which was one in 40 years.
âItâs understandable that after ten weeks without an eye-test Brits are desperate to check their peepers but we fear that the new eye tests, which involve getting in your car and driving roughly 60 miles to a local beauty spot, have flaws.
âOne man worried he may need glasses drove at 115mph along the M6 with his head out the side window to simulate that bit where the optician blows air in your eye. Which is all according to government guidelines.â
A Government spokesman said: âThis is utter nonsense. The new deregulated exams are foolproof.
âMany of those injured had failed to take a four-year-old child with them in the back seat to warn of possible dangers. Theyâve only themselves to blame.â
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Disgraceful from Hancock today, openly fabricating the number of deaths, manipulating the figures to announce 111 new deaths when their own website stats say;
Death with Covid up to May 31 - 38,489.
Death with Covid up to June 1 - 39,045.
The extra 445 are deaths they have just heard about and are no longer included in the daily total to make it seem less have died than have. Especially on âHappy Mondayâ when only good news is allowed. We are being lied to about everything. Interesting to see Hancock going through the charts today, not a scientist who have always done it, speculation that none of the scientists were prepared to sign off on them today, and werenât on todayâs edition of Jackanory.
Also been revealed today that covid tests of a throat and nose swab on one person, the vast majority, are being counted as 2 tests in their figures. How dishonest can they get. Crazy when Piers Morgan is the only person in the media pointing this out and calling them out on it, calling it exactly what it is, a scam.
Test and trace is described as a farce and a dogâs breakfast by the people employed to do the tracing, Hancock today said it is going brilliantly. When asked âhow many infected people have been traced by the system he replies, "er um er um, i donât know but it is very manyâ.
World beating lies. They are taking the piss out of us.
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Brexit - Deal or no dealBoris Johnson - We are following the science every step of the way. Scientists - With the current levels of infections restrictions should not be lifted, it is too risky. Boris Johnson - Fuck science.
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Can we keep the Brexit nonsense off this thread please?
Iâll move the posts to our Brexit thread shortlyâŠ
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When you put it this way, it does sound quite chaotic.
Andrew Neil, in his role as Chairman of The Spectator, announcing that as they did not actually need the furlough funds to survive as a business, they will be withdrawing from the scheme and repaying any money they took from the government.
A strange, if ostensibly principled move.
I wonder why he/they would do that?
Did it put them in a dodgy position editorially?
Will other businesses do the same?
Should all businesses (in similar situations) do the same?
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Unusual to see such a move, but itâs to be applauded imho. Iâd guess it was most likely done because of the editorial position taking such funding left them in, plus grabbing the moral high ground might gee up a few extra subscribers towards their magic 100k number. 
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The cynicism is strong in you, young padawank.
Agreed though.
Weekend press briefing to stop due to low viewing figures⊠because obviously high ratings are the whole point of them 
This is basically an admission that whatever path weâre on now in terms of lockdown easing its nothing to do with science⊠If Whitty is saying itâs level 4, why are the govt easing lockdown to level 1 and 2 behaviours?
Chris Whitty âvetoed lowering of coronavirus alert levelâ
This isnât too positive either
Covid-19 spilling out of hospitals and care homes, says UK expert
Jumping to the punchline in tweet three.
The only other country in red category hasnât even had a lockdown.
Hang on - I thought this guy was a fuck witt
Dodgy models and morals
As far as I recall he met his lover during lockdown but I donât think that took his qualifications away. I may be wrong.
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Sorry, but if we link infection rate to death rate thus and Sweden are still in the the âmuch higher than seasonal averageâ death rate zone (www.euromomo.eu), so the graphics used are pretty accurate/damning. But hey, who gives any fucks right? why do we want to be like the rest of Europe? 