Previously on Britain’s Next Big Fuck Up
It was a stirring week in the British Parliament as Hilary Benn, son of former Lord and de facto left leader of Britain’s opposition to of the Common Market and its successors, continued to piss on his father’s legacy and regain the hereditary lordship so cruelly denied to the one-time lordling.
This bill, expected to pass tomorrow, will do the following thing. It will force Boris Johnson to ask for a Brexit extension against the wishes of the people (the majority want out, they all want it done, as do most democratic folk that voted Remain).
This is not a done deal. Boris might end up breaking the law, giving the Met its easiest nick in history
PC Easyjob. Oi! Boris! Wake up. You are fucking nicked me old beauty.
Of course, there is always the option that Boris will just be Boris.
What what, fraternal frog-eating French fuckers. Give us an extension, you cunts.
So the extension is not certain.
People are screaming blue murder at the prospect of a Prime Minister breaking the law, mainly because he has hinted he’ll do it upfront, something all other Prime Ministers have had the good sense not to do.
“No deal is off the table!”, scream the fans of the European Union, not actually knowing what “a deal” might look like, which at the very least, would be some sort of regulatory alignment for some cross continental boon for Britons and others, but let’s face it, for all they know, it could mean sending your firstborn to be warded by Hungarian shepherds.
That last part was a joke, before anyone writes in. Ir does raise a very important question. We obviously won’t ever agree to let our kids be Hungarian shepherds, cook them goulash and shit.
But what if the best deal the EU offer isn’t good enough? The one on the table isn’t good enough - rejected three times in Parliament, utterly gives the upper hand to the EU, the backstop in perpetuity.
This is probably why product of nepotism, and overall little worm Stephen Kinnock, has swung to support it. Someone presumably had a word in his shell-like saying “Stephen, you stupid bastard. This is what we wanted all along!”
Irrespective of how you voted, I think we can all agree that we’re not going to get that much better than what is on offer now
Their deal won’t be good enough.
Now the hardcore of Remainers that still care about this sort of thing will as always, say this is the reason we should Remain.
Most of the country is, deep down, know that going out with no deal, a clean break, whatever you want to call it, is the only way out of this mess.
Pay them the £39 billion. Leave no cause for rancour, shake hands and say I hope we can work together again.
It’s just a shame no-one tried this previously. We might not be having episodes of Britain’s Next Fuck Up.
