It has already been established that Sotonians, at least the ones that post here, aren’t a particularly religious bunch. If we’re wrong, eternal damnation may well await. While rack torture, red hot pokers and unending torment doesn’t sound too great, I did think of a bright side.
I mean, a hypothetically extant Hell would be a pretty broad church. We could meet celebrities, and like myself, I’m sure many of them would be more entertaining in that context.
Where would you rather see Peter Mandelson, for example? On a plush couch talking bollocks to Andrew Neill, or chained to a rack and having his nipples sliced off (and sewn back on) for all eternity?
So assuming some kind of perpetual post-life punishment is in order for bad boys and girls, the questions for you are:-
- Who’s going to hell?
- Why are they deserving?
- What should happen to them?
Sounds hard, but is actually a doddle.
1) Danny Dyer
2) Them awful hooligan vids he does
3) Lock him up with them awful hooligans, without his minders.