A cautionary tale for those lording it over us slapheads…
In my late teenage years, I used to knock around with 2 other lads and we’d use nicknames that each of us hoped would stick pins in the neuroses of the other.
One of us was called baldbloke, one shortbloke and the other fatbloke.
It was true that one of us was indeed balding, one was short and one was packing a bit of Terry.
The nicknames were just the start of the brutal banter, all of which was themed on our ‘opponents’ ‘weakness’. It would often nearly come to blows and I remember one night after a session walking home with the three of us digging into the soft underbellies of the others’ undeniable atypical body issue, where one of my mates hit me on the head with a branch (embedding a thorn that would only work its way out of my pate some weeks later) due to being angered about the wins I’d scored.
I should say that all the while we thought this was banter and it was always done with a grin on the face, but it was obviously designed to hurt. The worst part was when we were in a larger group and you had to own your ‘problem’ in front of others.
Anyway, suffice to say that having gone through a couple of years of having your ‘deformities’ exposed to the world, it built a very thick skin. Now, to this day, I really don’t give a shit about my physical appearance.
That said, I’d never wear Boden with corduroy
The cautionary part of this cautionary tale?
I wasn’t baldbloke.
Let’s just say that in my late twenties baldbloke greeted me with “Alright fat and baldbloke”.
So cherish your hair, but be kind to the baldies because nothing ruins a career quicker than a 50-year-old rock tribute band singer suddenly developing a monk’s patch.
My lifetime’s experience suggests to me that many women have a serious issue with dating a bloke shorter than them (this isn’t me, by the way, I’m a strapping - almost gargantuan - 5ft 11, quite the beast).
It’s a bit of a hobby of mine to ask women if they would have a problem dating someone shorter than them, because I’m fascinated as to why it’s even an issue. I would say, conservatively, that 75% of the women I’ve asked said they wouldn’t like to date a short guy, but when asked why they don’t really have an answer… and when it’s pointed out the number of ‘sex symbols’ who are actually short-arses, they still say they wouldn’t like it, but still don’t have a ‘reason’ why.
I wouldn’t be step out with a girl who was taller than me. I would feel Emasculation. I’m 6ft 2 so it is not a Major Problem at moment, that only really rules out Freaks, but when the Genetic Family Curse kicks in, and I am Wheelchair Bear, i might have to change policy, or research into dwarf markets.
I went on a few dates wih a guy that was shorter than me. I was fine with it, but he kept mentioning it all the time, and that’s not so sexy. He also had really short arms, and I have a thing for men’s arms, so that kind of ruled that out.
Bald is bald, whereas short or fat can be subjective. Having said that, I am considered to be a tad under tall for my weight. When it comes to dating, I’ve never had a long term relationship with anyone taller than me but if we are talking about those brief but sweet “interludes”, looking back I would say there have been more that where taller than there were shorter. Could be because most of them stemmed from online interaction and by the time they realised I was shorter than the average bear (koalas excepted) they had already fallen for my "“shy but sweet” persona (or the fact that they were on an adult dating site and just wanted to get laid).
Bald has to be worse - if Bernie Eccleston can get laid, then having a papesque stature can’t be that much of a hinderance. How many supermodels do you see Duncan Goodhew with eh?
I’m 6"3, and went out with a girl that was marginally taller than me for a short period. It honestly never bothered me.
I do wonder if that was due to the fact that if we were out together, I felt like we were a pair of giants, looking down on all the puny minions - which was pretty fun. Also, I don’t really feel the need to feel insecure about my height - tbh, I don’t really get why anyone is, it’s not like it’s something you have much control over, but granted, perhaps being taller it’s easy for me to say that.
Once curse kicks in bear you will have different priorities when selecting woman. You will be swiping right on woman you think have good strong legs for pushing or strong arms for carrying you about + handjobs etc. Human’s adaptability is one of our best features.
KRG makes a valid point about size of bank balance.
Seems (from what I see in the media) that regardless of whether you are short or bald, or both, the hotness of eye candy (male or female) on your arm is directionally proportional to your wealth.
Height is usually disproportionate.(not to wealth)
