Apologies to anyone that has already heard this in person. I will make a further apology at the end of the thread (in relation to option 3).
There are two curses that plague the full grown man. Being short and being bald.
If you have to be one or the other, is it better to be short, or bald?
The short man has lifelong disadvantages. Pulling is harder. One has to endure frequent barbs or comparisons with famous characters of short stature. He cannot see bands at festivals. The thing is, short status is pretty much confirmed by 21, the age when it is generally accepted that the pituarity gland stops putting out. Itās a blow, but you can start planning for later life as a short-arse (e.g. getting called a āpoison dwarfā off @tokyo-saint , etc).
The bald manās situation is different. His situation creeps up on him, in some cases glacially, in others with brutal rapidity. The beginning and end of these cases are the same, and pretty self-evident (I am a particular fan of the latter). First, no bald person ever expected to be bald. Second, every bald person is bald So it must come as quite a shock.
Which affliction is worse in the prying eyes of Sotonians cohort of 2017? Shopping for clothes in Adams or using Mr Sheen as shampoo?
And finally, that apology. I apologise to anyone that is short, bald and offended. I suspect that the vast majority in this cross-section will not be offended. āBald? Iām a short-arse, Iāll shit itā. However, I raised this proposition at @gft103 's wedding and a short, bald man got very upset.
I am famously on record as having a microscopic cock, @saintbletch , but this is a broader argument than me and you, and indeed, invites more questions from the female Sotonian contingent.
I am certain there are veritable short-arse _tripods _out there. Iām less sure that there are tall blokes with tiny wangs, but Iād be very interested to hear otherwise
Besides all that, I find your methods very reductive, especially in this day and age. Iād shine a further light on them but weāre good forum pals, I donāt want to sour that, nor do I want to risk blinding myself permanently when the torchlight rebounds off that noggin.
A bloke I know has very fair and wispy hair that might under some light conditions give the impression that he is on his way towards baldnessā¦
But he honestly doesnāt give a fuck, probably a similar situation to Mr Pap re height I would suspect.
Though he does chuckle when he sees men pretending that they arenāt going thin on top - that whole tease a bit forward and pretend itās thick hair is so obvious and immediately tells you that someone has issues.
Men reach an age where they canāt be too precious about much at all as they are past their peak and all that awaits them is years of dull darkness, crippling regret and then a gaping grave - this feeling normally sets in around 22.
To be fair, I do have a LOT of silver flecks around my temples (if you were unkind, you might say Iām going grey) but this has been happening since my late 20s.
If being a short-arse isnāt a problem, why is Tom Cruise always in platforms? Donāt get me wrong, being a short-arse is great if you want to star in a film with Tom Cruise, but heās not happy about his height.
I can add little to this informative post, save to mention that I am, at 5ā 9", not short, and that I have a full head of hair. I am, however, indescribably ugly.
So it must come as quite a shock.
