Asking for a friend, but do you know if the Dube is still available?
Also, when you met Dion did he show you his two-feet tackle? (Also asking for a friend).
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Not sure I can help. I’d never expect anyone to buy me such an expensive gift. Mainly as I feel you need to reciprocate a gift of same cost. Partner buys me swanky perfume costing £80, he gets a gift of same amount. So what 2k item do you want and leave literature about for that?
I suppose if the person was a millionaire and £2k was sort of the Argos version in that respect I’d get it. Are you a millionaire Bearsy?
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Whisky, new Kindle (got a dying first gen now) and a tie
Whisky, new Kindle and a tie should be the title if your first album.
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There’s a multitude of box bothering beatniks. Every town centre has some work shy dosser banging his box and open mic nights wouldn’t be the same without some over enthusiastic out of time box buggerer. Still it stops the whole crowd clapping out of time (which is my main reason for a national cull when I come to power).
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See this is where Christmas falls down for me. Why do you have to match what your partner gives you? I don’t expect my missus to match what I spend on her.
My missus and her brother have the same conversation every year :-
MrsBTripz : Can you get me such and such CD
C-I-L : Yes, can you get me such and such other CD and this DVD
MrsBTripz : No problem, what DVD do you want?
etc. etc. etc.
Why the fuck don’t they just go out and buy what they want themselves 
Save a lot of time and energy
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Rum
New Ski Jacket
Annual subscription to Decanter magazine (only because the person who gets it for me keeps forgetting to cancel the direct debit each year - we are 4 years in now!!)
More Rum
Bike shit
Chocolate
Maybe some more Rum
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What also annoys me is the Ayatollah buying presents for everyone she has ever met’s kids.
Some of these kids we haven’t seen from one year to the next, we never get a card to say thank you and she never gets a card on her birthday or a call. Then when I tell her to cut bait with some of them and either save the cash or at the least spend it on kids we actually see and like, I am told that I am a miserable bastard.
Are we married to the same woman or at least they must be clones…
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I need a fucking job. 2017 can do one.
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Not sure CBS has enough Rum on his list.
I felt like that in 2015.
In 2016 it was like Why this fucking job?
Now I have a proper job. Just I never get to do it.
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I am treading a fine line between expectation and reality
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My wife knows I’ve been hankering for a new lens for my camera for a while. I’ve said I can’t really justify it and will make do with what I have.
That leaves me with a dilemma if she says she will buy it for my Xmas pressie. I will have to disclose how much it will cost and for what model camera. I’m sure she’ll be shocked at how much the lens costs…and how much I spent on the camera in the first place.
When quizzed on how much I spent on the camera 3 years ago…it was dismissed as, “not much”
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Tell her it’s a special camera and the lens works wonders on all subject matter, Then, to prove it, take some nudey photos of her but swap them for pictures of naked ladies off the internet and concvince the wife that the camera and lens has made her look much better. Then masturbate over them in front of her. Everyone’s happy, problem solved.
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Forgive me Fats if I seem immediately dismissive of what appears to be a well reasoned solution…but…
Does sending you the nudie shots of my missus for advice and approval pior to showing her, form part of that stategy?
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I don’t think you’ve understood. No-one will see the nudey photos of your wife. Throw them away. You get nice nudey photos off the internet and pretend they’re of your wife. Be confident when you tell her that this is what your special camera makes her look like and she’ll buy you endless lenses. I can supply the fake wife photos if you wish, for a small fee.
It’s not the small fee I’m worried about but the small deposit on each picture could be a problem.
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My brother has one of them. It’s great fun. I want one.
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You have fallen into the same trap as us cyclists
Our main fear of dying is that the wife will sell our bikes for the same amount we told her they cost.
You could easily cut and paste cameras in there.
My suggestion would be to wgae a campaign of expectation setting. Casually mention that you dropped £100 on a filter and work up from there. By the time you get to the lens she will have become acclimatised. Then you start again 
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