It appears to be him but I didn’t spot a name drop. Still not 100% sure this is a genuine DP situation.
So, there I am, sitting in the bar with the Camera crew from Sky who have bought me beer for telling them to turn their cameras around and just had their shot of the year of Rory popping his cork too early, when Mrs Matt Kuchar comes up to me, gives me a kiss, and her mobile number and says “I’ve had a wonderful time with you this week, if you’re ever over in the States at an event call me”
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It’s him! Welcome to the forum DP.
In completely unrelated news, is there an ignore function Pap? Asking for a friend.
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Glory hole??
Don’t think so, only way to ignore is for you your mate to unsubscribe…please!!
I don’t think so. Not now, or ever. We at Sotonians rely on posters’ ability to apply ignores at brain level. It’s risky, I know 
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This is why Sue Whistles and Turks haven’t made the trip over then!
Your Lordship, two small points of order that I’d like to bring up with you.
Is now a good time?
Firstly, Tokyo-Saint - that awful, below-stairs gossip, has pointed out to me that we have a new poster.
As I’m sure your Lordship is aware, it USED TO BE my role to welcome the new posters - even if, as in this situation, their golfing stories are not really that welcome.
So, I was preapring a typically tepid welcome for Lord Philip of Dubai, when I realised that somebody had not only foreshadowed his registration, but indeed welcomed him to the forum in my stead.
Secondly, as Sir knows, my family has been in the service of the Liverpool paps for literally * month. However, if Sir feels that my role here is no longer needed, or redundant, I would be happy to furnish Him with my resignation whilst I go off to start a post on SteveWeb asking about employment law.
Your sychophantic servant,
Bletch.
* Not literally.
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Oh no!! Look what you’ve done Pap! Say sorry, quick! 
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call his bluff!
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A third point concerns this…
Somebody appears to have attached pubes to my face.
I’d be very greatful if sir could arrange to install the Babyliss Beard Trimmer plugin for Gimp and apply a hot towel.
Yours, etc.
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It still is your role, Bletch. However, I saw that you were busy with Dark Lord of the Sith stuff this morning and thought I’d lighten the load. No offense intended.
PS. Have you seen your updated badge yet?
Ah, Dubai Phil. The name alone stands for so much.
Once, a couple of years back, while I was still a 3 posts a day newbie, I naively ventured outside the safety of the saints forum, and into this strange place called The Muppet Show. Naturally curious as I am, I clicked a couple of threads to find out what on earth a Muppet Show was. One of the first posts I read was from someone called Dubai Phil.
Dubai Phil, helpful chap that he is, was advising someone about a holiday they were planning to Thailand. I recollect the theme of the holiday being one of relaxation, and Phil gave some suggestions on massage parlours to visit. He then described in particular detail a massage he’d had with a ‘happy ending’ (thank you urban dictionary) to the point where I dropped my computer and ran as fast as I could. I’ve never been able to look Dubai Phil in the eye since.
I stayed well clear of The Muppet Show after that. Innocence lost.
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So as well as being undervalued and now unemployed, I’m now being turned into some sort of hollywood villain, figure of fun.
This I can live with.
Looking like Rafa funning Benitez, I cannot, up-with, put.
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Originally posted by @saintbletch
So as well as being undervalued and now unemployed, I’m now being turned into some sort of hollywood villain, figure of fun.
This I can live with.
Looking like Rafa funning Benitez, I cannot, up-with, put.
Your original glory has been restored, bletch. I totally missed the Benitez link. Should think before I mod. Sorry man.
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Welcome Phil! I hope Bletch has assigned you good quarters and you have a long and comfortable stay.
I hope golf stories don’t have the same effect as lady part stories. I managed to piss Lou off before I even unpacked my things and made my way to the bar. 
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Originally posted by @Ohio-Saint
I hope golf stories don’t have the same effect as lady part stories. I managed to piss Lou off before I even unpacked my things and made my way to the bar.
Not at all Ohio. When people piss me off, I usually just ignore them.
With you, I see much potential for you to become my new number one favourite…if only you could get over your teenage obsession with women’s breasts!
Cocks. I think you mean my obsession with lady’s cocks. I am a changed person thanks to you. 