Welcome to our newest members

Welcome to our newest members
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#701

Welcome @Brian_Hixson!


#702

Sorry but I’m always suspicious of new members since my embarrassing failed romantic relationship with Muammar Gaddafi’s daughter Ayesha.

It all seemed so plausible at the time. :kissing_closed_eyes:

Always assume they are scammers until their 300th posting.


#703

Hello @MalcolmTucker and welcome to sotonians. You’re new and I’d like to get to know you.


#704

I’ll get some talcum powder and together we can search for your damp bits.

Thanks for the welcome.

Fuckity-Bye!


#705

@Fatso, he’s got your fucking number, mush.

Immediately.

Welcome, @MalcolmTucker.


#706

He clearly hasnt got your number yet…he’s still here


#707

Well you can fuck right off too, you’re as useless as a marzipan dildo. You’re so dense, light bends around you and I’ve never seen anyone look so ugly with just one head.


#708

Mmmm…marzipan


#709

You haven’t seen @saintbletch.

He has to wear special shirts to bamboozle people.

His head is actually a complex papier-mache construction that can only be made a few times a year, and only lasts 12 hours.

It’s like the plot of Darkman, only much much worse.

It’s set in Eastleigh.


#710

I’d love to stop and chat but I’d rather have type 2 diabetes.

You message me again, either of you mincing fucking cunts, and I will tear your fucking skin off, I will wear it to your mothers’ birthday parties and I will rub your nuts up and down their legs whilst whistling Bohemian fucking Rhapsody, right?


#711

He’s right up my alley.


#712

Quick club him before he escapes then!


#713

Had a Couple of sips of BrewDick by any chance?


#714

This is how I wanted to be when I joined Sotonians, but i got worn down by all the bum sex


#715

Look I’m in the cunting background, OK, I should be fucking invisible helping @saintbletch do his Discourse stuff.

So fuck off and fucking ignore me or I will perform a fucking living fucking autopsy on you with a fucking rusty spade! I’ll have your kidneys for fucking cuff-links!

If I want to talk to any of you I’ll give you the special signal - which will be me being sectioned under the fucking Mental Health Act.


#716

Oh fuck off, @saintbletch, you fucking knob. I thought we had some new blood.


#717

To be honest, I’m glad its not a real person as I was having conflicting feelings of arousal and fear


#718

Yeah, we need new meat :meat_on_bone:

The Soviet are failing us.


#719

Watch your fucking lip, sonny, or you’ll be barbecue fodder.


#720

I congratulate you for recreating peak wallet rage.

I would actually consider putting you in a cage fight, and betting on you.

The cost of plying you with ale would easily be covered by the winnings when you bite a skinhead’s ear off.

@SO5-4BW will be onboard, I am sure. He’ll be the one that says, “Oi!, that neanderthal just nicked your fucking wallet”.

And I, dishonestly, will confirm it.

Fuck Grand Sweepmaster McSweep @saintbletch’s World Cup, er, sweep. It ends next Sunday regardless.

The real money is in @pap’s alcohol-fuelled, story driven, Sotonians Fight Club*.

* I’ll get a new rhythm guitarist for our drunkenly agreed cover band. Just in case, like.