Welcome to our newest members

Welcome to our newest members


Welcome @Brian_Hixson!


Sorry but I’m always suspicious of new members since my embarrassing failed romantic relationship with Muammar Gaddafi’s daughter Ayesha.

It all seemed so plausible at the time. :kissing_closed_eyes:

Always assume they are scammers until their 300th posting.


Hello @MalcolmTucker and welcome to sotonians. You’re new and I’d like to get to know you.


I’ll get some talcum powder and together we can search for your damp bits.

Thanks for the welcome.



@Fatso, he’s got your fucking number, mush.


Welcome, @MalcolmTucker.


He clearly hasnt got your number yet…he’s still here


Well you can fuck right off too, you’re as useless as a marzipan dildo. You’re so dense, light bends around you and I’ve never seen anyone look so ugly with just one head.




You haven’t seen @saintbletch.

He has to wear special shirts to bamboozle people.

His head is actually a complex papier-mache construction that can only be made a few times a year, and only lasts 12 hours.

It’s like the plot of Darkman, only much much worse.

It’s set in Eastleigh.


I’d love to stop and chat but I’d rather have type 2 diabetes.

You message me again, either of you mincing fucking cunts, and I will tear your fucking skin off, I will wear it to your mothers’ birthday parties and I will rub your nuts up and down their legs whilst whistling Bohemian fucking Rhapsody, right?


He’s right up my alley.


Quick club him before he escapes then!


Had a Couple of sips of BrewDick by any chance?


This is how I wanted to be when I joined Sotonians, but i got worn down by all the bum sex


Look I’m in the cunting background, OK, I should be fucking invisible helping @saintbletch do his Discourse stuff.

So fuck off and fucking ignore me or I will perform a fucking living fucking autopsy on you with a fucking rusty spade! I’ll have your kidneys for fucking cuff-links!

If I want to talk to any of you I’ll give you the special signal - which will be me being sectioned under the fucking Mental Health Act.


Oh fuck off, @saintbletch, you fucking knob. I thought we had some new blood.


To be honest, I’m glad its not a real person as I was having conflicting feelings of arousal and fear


Yeah, we need new meat :meat_on_bone:

The Soviet are failing us.


Watch your fucking lip, sonny, or you’ll be barbecue fodder.


I congratulate you for recreating peak wallet rage.

I would actually consider putting you in a cage fight, and betting on you.

The cost of plying you with ale would easily be covered by the winnings when you bite a skinhead’s ear off.

@SO5-4BW will be onboard, I am sure. He’ll be the one that says, “Oi!, that neanderthal just nicked your fucking wallet”.

And I, dishonestly, will confirm it.

Fuck Grand Sweepmaster McSweep @saintbletch’s World Cup, er, sweep. It ends next Sunday regardless.

The real money is in @pap’s alcohol-fuelled, story driven, Sotonians Fight Club*.

* I’ll get a new rhythm guitarist for our drunkenly agreed cover band. Just in case, like.