Ya know what? This site is improving all the time. with the quality of newcomers we are enjoying I am confident that I will get to enjoy my new room and surroundings for a long time to come.
One day I will try and bring you back a bottle of the Legendary Old Monk Rum. This was a bottle that cost less than 2 quid in the booze shop (inc 30%tax) that we acquired as our first ever bottle of booze when we first landed here. We acquired it as someone bought it to our housewarming party - and left it - everything else was vapourised but the Old Monk was unopened.
That same bottle lasted 5 years from party to party nobody would touch the stuff, until we went to a gig with a bunch of SW Asians and kapow, we were heroes for bringing it. It vapourised in seconds…
Because we were so cool we got invited to all the best parties and even reached the heights of some Bollywood gigs. (no idea who anyone was but the chicks were fit).
Anyway Old Monk still exists, just about every expat now has at least one bottle at home, we either use it to wash the Tanin stains out of tea cups or to make great cocktails. Inflation has taken it’s toll, it now costs 4 quid a bottle. Next time I’m in the booze shop I’ll mark your name on it.
If you don’t like it, you can always send it to Ottery, he’ll think it is Bubbly
Hello, I hate scousers and Geordies, I think Birmingham is very 80’s and I was duped into believing Nick clegg was a saints fan who loved matt le tiss, thus leading me vote lib dem.
And yet we still welcome you, and look forward to your future posts, which will possibly be based on your aforementioned biases. 
Congratulations on what is a highly original introduction.
As the self styled “Defender of the North” (with a particular focus Liverpool) we may clash on the first three points. Alternatively, I could be the person that changes your mind on these wonderful people. We will see.
I’m not universal in my love of things scouse. Liverpool FC are extremely annoying with Brendan in charge, but that’s not exactly something the Red men aren’t saying themselves. However, their fans were all gloaty on my Facebook feed last year. The missus and youngest daughter, both scousers and both Reds fans, eyed me with one part pity and nine parts mockery during those days, yet took the hump after say, the sixth month of me taking the piss out of their “improved” team.
Not a huge fan of Everton either. Their fans are a load better, but historical bogey team and Adrian Heath innit?
Cheers Ohio, I once met a homeless man in Montreal who told me his life story, he cried and I gave him money, it was minus 20, poor sod, if he’d have been a scouser I would have thrown a snowball at the fucker.
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Originally posted by @pap
Originally posted by @Peahead
Hello, I hate scousers and Geordies, I think Birmingham is very 80’s and I was duped into believing Nick clegg was a saints fan who loved matt le tiss, thus leading me vote lib dem.
Congratulations on what is a highly original introduction.
As the self styled “Defender of the North” (with a particular focus Liverpool) we may clash on the first three points. Alternatively, I could be the person that changes your mind on these wonderful people. We will see.
I’m not universal in my love of things scouse. Liverpool FC are extremely annoying with Brendan in charge, but that’s not exactly something the Red men aren’t saying themselves. However, their fans were all gloaty on my Facebook feed last year. The missus and youngest daughter, both scousers and both Reds fans, eyed me with one part pity and nine parts mockery during those days, yet took the hump after say, the sixth month of me taking the piss out of their “improved” team.
Not a huge fan of Everton either. Their fans are a load better, but historical bogey team and Adrian Heath innit?
I won’t be budged on my scouse hatred, both sides of the City equally offend me, Graeme sharp ruined my 2nd visit to the dell as a kid.
Well, he was homeless, so probably didn’t have a gun. I would have shot the cunt and stolen his dick. His liver would have had no market value, being a probable alcoholic, but his dick would be an easy sale to anyone 20 miles east of Southampton. They need them to wave around t their sisters
We may as well deal with this now. Why don’t you like scousers? Pick from the following reasons, or supply your own.
- Because, from my perspective, they’re too emotional.
- They’re all thieves and/or criminals
- Watched too much Bread
- Or too much Brookside
- I believe Harry Enfield and Chums is accurate television drama. It’s only labelled comedy to get it into another department’s budget. As such, I see these scousers as a clear menace to ongoing decency. They must be stopped.
- I (went to Liverpool|met a scouser), articulated my views in the hypothetical snowball/cash condundrum, and got filled in. The hospital staff were lovely though.
- I was outsmarted by a scouse dog.
- (drum roll - real reason for 90% of southern based scouse ire) I hate they way they stand up for each other. What’s this solidarity bollocks anyway?
btw; have just seen your stated reason. If we were to apply the same level of enmity to every team that has beaten Southampton, we’d hate the entire country.
Thanks for the welcome Pap. I’m still hanging around the hall with my luggage (carrier bag of SFC programmes and shoebox of reggae 45s) waiting for the butler to show me to my room. This seems a nice hotel though - the other place had squabbling children everywhere
Re the discussion above - I don’t hate scousers, geordies or even the Welsh - but do get annoyed by northeners who think everyone in the south is David Cameron. I DO hate Adrian bloody Heath though
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Always pleased to see new forum on one of my key intereste SFC.
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wELCOME LP…Please stop messing with my caps lock! 
Where is the butler when ya need him?
Looking forward to Rallyboys posts!
Evening all, yet another new poster here. The Muppet Show on TSW is rather dull now so I’m in here to follow the Bearsy.
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Hello, I heard you all like to read the Guardian. I also like to read the Guardian. Let’s enjoy the Guardian together.
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Originally posted by @Plastic
Hello, I heard you all like to read the Guardian. I also like to read the Guardian. Let’s enjoy the Guardian together.
Oh no this place isn’t full of bloody lefties is it? I’m not going to fit in.
Originally posted by @Nobby-Plumbs
Oh no this place isn’t full of bloody lefties is it? I’m not going to fit in.
Fuck that, I go to sleep at night under my Maggie Thatcher duvet set, cuddling my Maggie Thatcher and John Major dolls.
That’s after I’ve genuflexed to the Conservative Party logo that I have in my walk in closet in the Summer House at the back of the estate.
In the morning I like to wake to the sound of David Cameron soundly beating Miliband in a piss taking contest then I go and stamp on the downtrodden, those out of work and the under class!
Originally posted by @Plastic
Hello, I heard you all like to read the Guardian. I also like to read the Guardian. Let’s enjoy the Guardian together.
Uh oh, here’s Plastic, the man who thinks women who like football are unattractive!
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He’s probably right
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Simmer down superstar
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