I think that one is copyrighted you canât use that.
The one I gave you is copyright freeâŚhonest. 
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Still not quite The WatersideâŚ.
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The game focused journal of Paul Taylor, aged 46 and seven twelfths.
So I was on the phone to my best mate (a concept that seemed to offend the not-so-dearly departed @Fatso) and we had a meandering sixty minute chat on video games, largely inspired by the gaming session I was having with lastborn when he rang up.
As a parent, I can attest that kids start out pretty shit on videogames. Itâs not their fault, especially if they were born in the '90s. Back when I was a kid, the games that were out were usually one joystick and a couple of buttons. The sort of stuff out then (and now) is more complex, requiring you to move camera angles, etc.
There are still shitloads of people that cannot play games where you have to look and move at the same time. I wonder idly how these fuckers manage in real life, and conclude with some justification; not well.
Anyway, kids do eventually get good at videogames and they get to the point where they start to eclipse the abilities of the parents. This happened during the Wii era for me. All of a sudden, lastborn kept hosing me in Mario Kart. I initially protested that she was using âeasy controlsâ, so she switched to the advanced ones and kicked my arse again.
The best mateâs kids are younger, two boys. He did not listen to me when I have him my famous piece of parental advice.
Do not be a smart-arse around your kids. They learn quickly and will pay it back tenfold.
He is not at the stage where he is tasting the bitter tang of continued Mario Kart defeat but his eldest son has claimed his first victory, and claimed it well. After victory has been assured, he stands in the middle of the room and says:-
THE KING HAS LOST HIS CROWN!
My best mate better get used to it. A complete dethroning awaits. The only time heâll get to see that crown is when heâs passing it around his two nippers as they kick his ageing arse 
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OiâŚ!!
X2âŚFUCK RIGHT OFF.
Playing âSpace Invadersâ raised my blood pressure to unacceptable levels which taught me very quickly to stick to the real world.
When it actually comes to being invaded by aliens from outer space Iâll take lessons in the use of the Lightsaber. 
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Only game I was ever any good at was 'Owzat.
I loved Space Invaders. And Phoenix, and all those other arcade games back in 1982 or 83 
Never played any computer games at all since then.
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Ditto.
Dabbled a bit with GTA when it came out and the various Lego games back in the day. All a bit same old same old.
YoungAdult#2 is a bit of a gamer & the graphics quality is astounding tbf
Suspect opinion is split on here.
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The only game Iâve played regularly was MS Golf 1996 on my desktop. I could drive 300+ yards off the tee and complete the 18 holes at an average of 12 under par.
Thatâs a proper computer game. 
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I did have a flight simulator game a while back but it would be at a ZX Spectrum standard compared to current versions
Golf games are great. I hate to disagree with my elders but there have been much better golf games than MS Golf 1996.
These days they come in two main flavours, hyper-realistic or very cartoony. I prefer the cartoony ones.
There is a great Fast Show sketch with Charlie Higson playing Flight Simulator.
He arranges members of his family on chairs a couple of rows back from him. Heâs sitting on his computer. His expectation was that theyâd sit there for eight hours while he did a real time trip to LA?
Was this based of your Flight Sim life?
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Funny you should say that
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Loved Everybodys Golf World Tour on the PS3 even played it with the glow stick things and the magic eye.
The PS4 version wasnât so good IMHO
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The new Mario Golf on Switch is actually pretty good. The biggest change is being able to, and in many cases mandated to walk the course. Thereâs all sorts of fun shit to collect as you do so.
I also like that it just models the whole course - unlike a lot of the early golf games which would basically make each hole its own private universe.
The Taylor Tour diary, October 22-24th, 2001
We are newly returned from the south. Gingora has changed jobs a few times this year due to being preternaturally employable in 2021, so sheâs not got much leave. At one point, the woman had so many competing job offers that I briefly considered the economic opportunities in cloning her so she could take them all. After considering the domestic implications, I shelved the idea. One is more than enough.
Friday was spent either travelling to, or being in Southampton. The journey, which can be done in four hours, took around six. Accidents all over the shop, the usual ten-mile stretches of âworksâ oddly bereft of âworkersâ. Roadkill. Gingora was particularly sad at seeing a dead deer. She doesnât seem to give a fuck about foxes, and youâd think there would be some ginger solidarity.
We spent Friday with SouthFam on the Flower Estates. I see the Co-Op on Burgess Road is still being ârefurbishedâ but I suspect those sneaky cunts at the Uni will remodel it into a car park or something. My eldest nephew was disappointed that this time out, retro games took priority over Switch stuff, but he stopped moaning after discovering Donkey Kong and Green Beret.
Went up to Newbury yesterday for the best mateâs wifeâs 40th. The Mangled Worzels were the star attraction. His missus is from the South West so she likes this kind of stuff. Sheâs acclimated to civilisation now, but I believe considerable time and effort was spent introducing concepts such as electricity, running water and why itâs not okay to shotgun visitors to your garden. The Wurzels thing is incurable.
Caught up with @Intiniki last night as well, which is always one of the most fascinating chats I have when I have it. She is looking well and in news Iâm sure she wonât mind me sharing, can finally sell her flat after the cladding checked out. I didnât actually ask where they were planning on moving, so Iâm just going to guess. Slough. Theyâre moving to Slough.
If this thread started out as documenting the lockdown, I think itâs fitting to provide some thoughts on it getting lifted. I got to see people this weekend that I havenât seen for years, in some cases, over a decade. Gingora doesnât get down to the South as much as I do, so for her, it was even more acute.
People are seriously underrated, and while there are many pitfalls of pushing fifty, one of the benefits is being able to sling an arm around your best pal as youâre surveying a room full of happy people that neither of us knew when we were seven, and just saying âlook at what youâve builtâ
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Iâd never have had you down as that soppy @pap. 
Seriously though. Youâve nailed it.
Btw - have things become less immature enough for @Intiniki to grace the site ? Sorely missed.
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I hope se comes back for a visit, but itâs very much on her and I imagine sheâs going to have a lot going on in the coming months.
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The inter-generational exploits of Paul Taylor and family
So the firstborn is 26 today. She makes a big thing of her birthday. Itâs as if all time started then and the rest of us are figments of her imagination designed to make her omnipotence more bearable, as if we all sprang into existence in 1995 with fabricated memories to support this very ideal.
She is not in Liverpool at present. Sheâs busy planning what is bound to be a cramped dinner party in a London flat. I told her that restaurants were basically places where you could have a dinner party without the problem of a cramped London flat, but she remains resolved to her folly.
Gingora walks in with my daughter on Facetime, and I get to see some of her presents. She shows me a necklace that sheâs got which has the letter âCâ on it, her first initial.
âI canât get nonced on in Newsham Park with thisâ, she says, referring to an occasion where someone had approached her in Newsham Park and said they knew her after reading her name off a lanyard.
She was smart enough to spot the ruse, so nothing happened. Donât ever let your kids walk about with their names on them, we learned that day.
I replied âyou canât get nonced anyway. Youâre 26â.
âI suppose thatâs true fatherâ, she says. âAll sexual assault these daysâ.
It was at this point I remembered that my daughter is a sick individual, something I discovered the first time I played Cards Against Humanity against her.
I blame the parents.
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