I have Vodka
I just watched a stressful movie
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Not helping
I apologise. 
Got to say, when I quit the booze I was never bothered in the slightest by others partaking around me, in fact I probably went to the pub more than previously. What really made me feel awkward and self conscious was people around me studiously declining alcoholic drinks in favour of coffees or soft drinks while glancing furtively towards me, as if thinking I’d suddenly grab the nearest bottle of scotch and drain it if anyone broke the spell. FFS. 
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Atm its the physical changes that are killing me probably mixed with symptoms from the Tumours.
I had a wobble at lunchtime but got in tge car and did a discovery trip
Its about 5pm and now that really hurt.
But im getting there
If you can just stick with it for a short while, those will pass and you won’t be a slave to the stuff anymore. I’m massively impressed by the way, they say kicking a tobacco habit is harder than heroin, and I’m absolutely certain that everyone on here is right behind you, good on you for fronting up and doing it. 
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I genuinely don’t get that, and it wasn’t, not that I was a heroin addict….
I think, when I gave up, I gave up with some work colleagues and we said that the first person to smoke would pay the others ÂŁ50, going up by 10% every year. I think that that is what fortified me.
The hardest part for me going to the pub and eating out, people could still smoke in pubs then.
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Yeah, it was a balance thing. Fag in one hand pint in the other.
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I reckon if we weren’t allowed to smoke in pubs at the time I would have quit 5 years prior to when I did. Trouble is I would start the day with good intentions go to the pub be three drinks in before the first mega pang , two pints later I was getting change for the ciggie machine and I would promptly bosh the lot and sometimes be back at the machine again before the night was done
In the end a persistent hacking cough in the morning got my arse into gear
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Well the “authorities” have given me an incentive boost. My “weekend plans”
Friday 06:41 bus, change in a suburb to catch the bus out East to Nowa Huta & the Specialist Hospital (1hr 20m journey) Meet Anestheologist or something.
Saturday - last alcohol
Sunday last food at 18:00 then fasting
Monday Village Doctor Blood Test and EKG tests
Tuesday 06:41 bus to hospital more specialist blood tests (and also a test/scan to make sure it hasn’t spread) Last food / liquids 20:00
Wednesday 06:41 bus (again) OP
Thursday on my own with no English Speakers
Friday (Insh’allah) discharge and an Uber/Bolt home
Alcohol only allowed WHEN any pain meds/anti-biotics are done.
So yeah, no smoking and no booze next week.
Scotty was right, giving up Smack would have been easier
I only smoked when I had a pint. I was a 40 a day man.
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Nightmare 20 hours.
Last night no tobacco no nicotine gum or booze due to testing day at hospital today
0530 alarm couldnt sleep. Urine sample, shower catch 0640 bus
Arrive hospital 0750 ho to office 1.
Get piece of paper.
Go to ticket machine wait 20 minutes.
Get piece of paper go to 8th floor.
Wait.
Ukrainian girl does my paperwork go to floor 1
Wait.
Its now 0945
Blood test 6 bottles filled.
Still no coffee/juice/breakfast
Floor 0 queue up. Go to door 14 have 2 chest Xrays.
Done.
Now took an hour to get home and now my neck is screaming and into spasm
We go again Monday
Nope.
Just the Scotch.
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Bad day
Just stress from waking up.
Got through it but crashed just now and having chewing gum
Hate my self
Careful - he will want a post release smoke
Them nuns are Smoking
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I didn’t think of that. I’m doing more harm than good here, aren’t I.
Sorry, Phil 