How about “Chapel Cake” altogether more acceptable to said recipient AND absolutely HILARIOUS. 
No more nominations… the Jury have gone behind closed doors to make the selection of the final three - white smoke will indicate the choice has been made… more after work
Gentlemen and the odd lady who has stumbled on this hideous place of scum and villainy … the final 3 have been chosen for you to vote on. Polls will open immediately but for your vote to count you must donate £5 to Goaty’s Hospital Charity.
We are trying to get over the £2k mark so please be generous as this will be the last of these votes as I fear interest is waining… (we will think of something else next year).
You can of course ‘rig’ the vote by donating more, but I ask you to be a bit sensitive to the desire to raise as much cash as possible - eg, please watch and wait so the results not done and dusted in 20 minutes 
so best to keep adding multiple vote until close to teh entry deadline which will be midnight BST on Friday 10th August.
We want to raise as much as possible so in the true spirit of togetherness, I hearby apologise to all those who I have ever offended including you cunts who voted Brexit, IF you vote and donate Love you really, even Pap
Thank you on behalf of all those who benefit from the wonderful folks at Southampton General Hospital
The final selection is based on choosing one that was slightly ‘fun and frolicsome’, one a little more appropriate, and one that labels me a cunt so something for all
1: Scrotes
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General Leo Fensiv
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Map of Tasmania
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Boo!
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Sorry… but Sotonians is permanent , Brexit is… oh 
(just shut up and vote)
Link for donations:
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Scrotes has got my votes it totes floats my boats.
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Cheers Gavstar, that 2 Scrotes, 0 Fensiv’s, 0 Tasmanias
Set up a poll, you knob
I have voted as part of a secret ballot as is my democratic right.
I will not be drawn on which name I have nominated…the ballot should be scrotally secret to be a fair election.
Well as all the choices are shit, and I’m likely to be the bloke making the changes, there is a 4th choice and it’s already got £15 of my money on it.
- None of the above.
Tenner donated for General Leo Fensiv.
Because of the unique way None Of The Above has setup the voting process I don’t think any of the poll options work.
A poll will only show 1 vote you knob - most folks are voting multiple times as they are generous and kind
you Map of Tasmania
I will add up the donations once voting is closed.
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Give me 15 mins, I’m just looking to see if we can captured the votes.
About fookin’ time your technobollocks were put to some actual good use 
I said I’m looking - I’m not a miracle worker!
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Well get this guy in to sort it
