Just looked and no down vote showing, so i have just in case you forgot.
Sorry Fatso, your own fault for not mentioning the important bit between those two irrelevant games and i picture you completely differently(more piss stained y fronts and unwashed hair(assuming thereās any left).
Nothing personal but once youāve met Barry, you realise, itās safer to expect the last thing you expected(heās an undertaker. Whoād of guessed?)
I am elegant and suave. But Iām also a bit tasty. Iām a bit naughty. Once a year I go to a random game with other men and we drink and call women ādarlingā. Then the rest of the year, Iām the elegant and suave fatso that you have fallen for. I donāt blame you for that, in many ways itās my fault for being so elegant and suave. You can carry on dreaming of me but be aware that in those dreams, occasionally, I might slap your arse and call you darling. And be sick on you.
Seriously for a night in, sat in front of the box, I was seriously pissed. Do not even remember going to bed, but can confirm 2 bottles of wine (went down easily) and 3 Ales are empty on the side. So unless my daughter has taken a liking to red wine and Ale, then it must have been me, as mrs Sfcsim does not like those drinksā¦
ā¦ MORNING!
Dry mouth and tongue and some strange disturbing recollection of the Womblesā¦
Bulgarian red?
Prepared for the Hammers by being out in Hammersmith last night. Moretti x several and Malbec x 3 were drunk - but none by me of course as I drove this morning for the match 
What did your sponsor say when you told them?
Do you mean sponsor as in fellow reformed alcoholic or sponsor as in BrewDog - the best brewery in the world?
You sound just my type. 
Allegedlyā¦
Our 1st brunch for ages.
Wrecked by 5:20pm on a Friday.
Jeez old age catching up. No way I will make it to karaoke.
Jugs of Long Island Iced Tea & Jaegerbombs - what was I thinking.
Oh yeah I remember.
Iām not payingā¦ ā¦
Are you suggesting there are occasions when you do?
Mrs SOG is still in bed from a heavy session in the local last night. Chances of further pickling this evening looking slight.
Those swingers doās can take it out of you.
They certainly do. And I still cant find my car keys!
Nope never.
But I do have some bad news. Seems the Bletchpoison has reached even this secluded corner.
Some f*swearfilter*g bastard just bought me a 2 4 1 pints of Brew dog.
Ffs
Did you polish them bottles up real nice, turn them sideways and shove them up his roody pooh candy ass?
Or did you just say āThereās even a limit to the frere drinks (and I use the term loosely) that Iāll drink!!ā
Donāt know why you are getting so mardy - if some one bought me 241 pints, Iād probably kiss them
Was it a long walk home then?
241 pints of Brewdick?
Bletch will become Bitch for you with that much beer* available
*I use the term in its loosest possible sense**
**Brewdick, is probably not the best beer in the world ***
*** In fact it shouldnāt be classed as a beerā¦probably.