😃 The Little Pleasures of Everyday Life

BTripz · 2 February 2018 09:42

I think that story belongs in the Too Much Information thread @philippinesaint , don’t you have any Handie men on board??

PhilippineSaint · 2 February 2018 09:58

we have Mechanics, Electricians, Instrument techs but no Handie men

Intiniki · 20 February 2018 07:34

Discovering your notice period is 1 month and not the 2 you thought. Now just to find a new job.

Bearsy · 20 February 2018 07:57

I’m Job Hunting too! I’m feeling the Muster Of The Vultures in my current position! No-one’s said anything yet, but I think they’re starting to realise that I haven’t done any work for like 3 months. God knows how they found out! I’ve been so careful! Hiding complaints, shirking responsibility, shredding important documents etc.

I actually had an interview on Friday for New Job. It was shameful how convincing I was. “Oh yes, I’m a very hard worker! First to arrive in morning, last to leave at night! Never off sick!” It all sounded so plausible! There’s something seriously wrong with me. If I put half as much effort into working as I do into pretending I’m working, I would probably be President or something.

They didn’t suspect a thing though. Fkn Mugs! I’m expecting an offer any moment now to join their exciting company & help with their ambitious growth plans. Poor bastards

BTripz · 20 February 2018 08:12

So, who is the next big fast food chain?

Bearsy · 20 February 2018 08:24

I’d rather not mention in case they are Monitoring! But you’ll be able to figure it out in 6-9 months time when they go Bankrupt rip

gavstar · 20 February 2018 08:39

And so it begins…

BTripz · 20 February 2018 08:41

Great minds think alike @gavstar , or is that fools seldom differ?

Halo-Stickman · 20 February 2018 08:42

lifeintheslowlane · 20 February 2018 09:02

HA! That explains it all…why KFC have run out of chicken. Well done @bearsy

CB-Saint · 20 February 2018 10:14

Would it be wrong to say that the lack of fried chicken has done that girl a favour?

Bearsy · 20 February 2018 10:45

Just got my Job Offer

Not only did these mugs believe all the lies I told about being Trustworthy Employee + Hard Worker, they even believed the lies I told about how much I earn!

There is one born every minute yo!

Edit: When I start new job do I have to hand in a P60 thing, and will that reveal I lied about my Earning Potential?

TheMightyOstrich · 20 February 2018 11:36

Bear is a proper grown-up isn’t he? I feel cheated. Getting married, settling down, improving his job prospects - what a fraud!

Bearsy · 20 February 2018 11:45

Just bought new house too! It’s all awful! I don’t like everything to change, I was Happy!

In full disclosure, it is my birthday today also rip

lifeintheslowlane · 20 February 2018 11:49

Now he’s also in a higher wage bracket he’ll be looking for an independent financial advisor for his investments. I feel sick. Maturity beckons

Happy birthday @bearsy

Sadoldgit · 20 February 2018 11:51

Happy birthday bear. Treat yourself today. Have a poo on a proper toilet rather than in the woods!

Polski_Filip · 20 February 2018 12:19

Getting a last minute invite to ANOTHER free golf day

By a potential client who kept bumping off meetings.

More free beer as well.

BTripz · 20 February 2018 12:59

Happy Birthday @bearsy , did you remember to wake Mrs Bearsy up at 03:00 asking for a blow job?

Goatboy · 20 February 2018 13:01

Happy birthday Bearsy! Hope Mrs b gives you a decent nights kip.

Numptyboi · 20 February 2018 13:11

Happy Birthday Bear.

As others have said though, you need to take advantage of lady advances in the middle of the night, especially prior to an exchange of marital vows. Fast forward 18 years and all you’ll get in the wee small hours is a bingo wing in the face, snoring in the ear and a nocturnal fart to keep you warm.