For a moment I thought you meant Cedar RoadâŚ
The saga of the resurrected accident case and retracted admission of fault.
I finally had to waste three hours of my life and suffer annoying stress to fight my case.
Fortunately the Claimant was an idiot, my appointed brief was half-decent, actually read my notes and questions and did an ok job, the judge was sensible and of course my testimony was devastatingly brilliant.
So at least I won. And got the princely sum of ÂŁ28 expenses and compensation.
Thank fuck thatâs over.
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So, a month or so back the water board did a job outside our gaff which involved digging up and refilling the pavement. Shortly afterwards, the tarmac patch theyâd left developed a little sinkhole, which was a proper trip hazard to the elderly residents of our veteran thoroughfare. So I report the hole to the council, who inspected it last week and came to fix it yesterday.
During yesterdayâs work, the broadband went down. Itâs right alongside the fibre supply. So I call Talk Talk, who sent an engineer this morning and confirmed that the council workers have crushed the fibre optic cable, so the pavement will have to be dug up again to fix it. No idea on schedule, and weâll be without broadband (and the landline we donât use) in the meantime.
A minor annoyance for me, but a huge issue for the neighbours whose system is also fucked because of it. They rely heavily on Careline, not only for the elderly chap with a heart condition but also their disabled son. I imagine Openreach will prioritise the repair because of them, at least Iâd certainly hope so.
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Its Pikeyfest time in Ashurst.
Its that time of year when we welcome our romany friends into our village and enjoy their antics such as racing side by side up the main road, or abusing the staff at the Indian restaurant, or not paying for meals.
I shouldnât forget to mention the acts of public service such as shed clearance
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âŚSalt of the earth they isâŚwhere would washday Mondays be without their pegs.
Lucky 'eaver luv?
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Iâd keep quiet if I were you. Any more complaining and youâll be collared as a far-right agitator and banged up within two days.
Update, both Openreach and the Water Service showed up this morning. They did a Banksy on the offending bit of pavement and promptly fucked off again.
Hang on theyâre the ones abusing the Indian restaurant staffâŚâŚ
Adds to the kerb appeal?
I hope you spotted the geraniums.
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Please add the WH and E to the graffiti
It was nice of them to leave flowers for you.
Pity they ruined the gesture by sticking a fucking great cone in front of them.
Itâs to keep all of the onlookers at a safe distance so they can admire them properly and not run the risk of hay fever (basic health n safety innit)
Bastards broke into the BTC Sports Ground next to me last Friday. Same mob that came 3 years ago. Demanded ÂŁ5k to leave and were told to poke it. All the local and kiddies football had to be cancelledâ
Those nice people from the Council popped in to see they were all healthy and the police did thie usual fuck all, despite the threats offered by the pikeys. But luckily, they fucked off on Tuesday pm instead of the 2 weeks last time. I guess they might be in your neighbourhood now although there were reports of others in Green Park, Millbrook.
Operation clean up has began.
That bollard needs another bollard. Someone could trip over one of those. 
3 hopes.
No hope
Bob Hope
&
Envelope
Some daft cunt drove his horse and trap across a cattle grid in Ashurst
Hasnât ended well for the horse
You know he will sue the council for not having the correct signs up warning about the dangers to horses and will end up getting a ton of money
NB if the signs were installed his mates will nick them and sell the melted down metal for scrap