Its bloody pissing down.
Ditto.
Today was Forest / shrooms and grass cut before holiday
Had to do haircut instead
The stress of trying to change an appointment in a Polish App ffs
Pool boy just tried to kill me.
Put the dry chlorine in the stream then added Muriatic acid and made a cloud of Chlorine gas.
Lord slowlane would have thought he was back in the trenches with Blackadder
A/ when did you last pay him?
B/ have you been shagging his sister?
A/ when did you last pay him? Last month on time
B/ have you been shagging his sister? No I dont know where she lives.
Getting old
My body just cannot cash the cheques that my brain keeps writing
Currently sat in A&E with a hurty knee- I think I have buggered the tendons by trying to carry something too heavy
Last year I slipped a disc
I am falling apart
Trying to book tickets to watch Hampshire online
Why do you want my fucking postal address?
Why do I have to make a membership account.
30 minutes so far cunts
You donât know the meaning of the word heavy until youâve worked in the piano trade.
You donât know the meaning if heavy until you come round in a Pub on Sauchiehall Street at midnight on a Saturday nightâŚ
Gis tooooo pants a heavyâŚ
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The trainline ticket booking crashed after my banking App got approval.
No tickets delivered
Weâll wait.
Frustating
Overall Lymington Urgent Treatment Centre is decent - It was busy but I was in and out in less than a couple of hours - I guess it helps when ambulances arenât turning up every two minutes to bump you down the queue
Today I get a survey request - apparently its privately run by PHL based in Segensworth
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Get home from Amsterdam and the missus informs me the fridge is broken and she is looking at a new one for about 1200 USD.
I look at the fridge this morning and there is a bog standard Omron relay that is full of ants so not functioning. Take the relay out clean it and lo and behold the fridge is functioning fine. The same can not be said for the housemaids who were admonished for not cleaning / killing the ants in the first place.
Perhaps you could pass on this domestic appliance repair tip to @CB-Saint to enhance his âfix it with YouTubeâ repertoire.
I wouldnât - I had a go at the Ayatollahs dyson hairdryer last night. I placed an order for a new one this morning.
I suspect bits of that hairdryer will be turning up for quite some time
You should not drop it in her bath whilst it is still plugged in 
What a crock of shit we do not burn oil offshore we Flare gas because the infrastructure is not in place to send it ashore to be used, or it is compressed and put back down the same well it came out of which increases the amount of oil coming out so you can have petrol, diesel and all your plastic bits.
Why do nose and ear hairs grow so long so quickly?
They donât - itâs just the hair on your head has stopped therefore it only seems fast
Just dropped Lady Slowlaneâs G&T taking it back to the cabin to watch the sailaway from Liverpuddle.
Iâm fucked, it was a double. 