Have you spotted the contradiction here mate? 
No just because I dont want to give her her conjugal rights does not mean I cannot get an erection.
No conflict at all 
I’d like to see that tested in court.
It does not want to be hit with the judges gavel I know that
Excuse me if I don’t take up the option for the Public Viewing Gallery.
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You would need your binoculars the ones for the theatre would be ok
Surely you mean ‘stand up’ in court?
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She is still going on about her conjugal rights then got stroppy when I said I offered this morning after the football so 5am here but could not get in as she was still wearing a pair of shorts and pants.
Dont ask it’s a filipina thing.
She is now happy and satiated
Good.
Now you can go racing…
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My wife stood in the doorway, smiled seductively and said “fancy a fuck?”
“You’re after something,” I replied.
“No I’m not!!” she protested.
“Yes you are,” I said. “You’re after Match of the Day, come back in an hour.”
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I have just realised that my youngest nipper has done 8 years more schooling than me and is still as thick as pig poo poo. What have I been wasting my money on?
Not wasting money, send him to America. He’s perfectly suited to be the next president.
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Yes not actually born there, but would be better than what they have or will get.
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So he’s done 9? 9 and a half years?
Ouch
For the record I left school at 15 on 10th June 1980 after finishing my last exam at 10:30 am
Wow, 12 years before I left educayshun and you’re only 3 years older than me…just a minute, that makes you 60 this year!! Where’s the party invite??
Incorrect it makes me 61 this year
Every Sotonian has had an open invitation to attend the house in the Philippines all you have had to do is give your flight arrival time and you will be collected.
So my nipper gets another 4 years ?