The worst thing is, after six hours of practice that was the best effort.
Southern water have fucked it - half of Suthampton havent got water
Ooooooh nooooooo! That means I only have my beers to drink to stay aliiiive! 
I took the bird with me to a customer near Stockbridge this afternoon, having checked with the customer whether we’d be okay to use her shower. 
Whoever decided to open a water collection centre in the middle of Totton at the start of rush hour is a fucking moron 
Well at least one is there - their first effort was a solitary on in Eastleigh when all of the waterside is fucked
Never has my David Lloyd membership delivered so much value. I had a £1500 shower today
1 Like
Hop over here I’ll only charge £1499.
Mrs S and I agreed just one nice present each. Pleased that I found a dress I knew she’d like, in the right colour and size. All nicely wrapped.
Mrs S just walked in saying “I treated myself”, wearing the exact same dress.
Happy bloody Christmas. 
You could always wear it and go out as a pair 
Is the garage still open. I’m sure a new set of wiper blades and a gallon of antifreeze will go down a storm as a replacement….
I rescued the situation with a spa voucher and a new teapot. The latter because (and you may not laugh) after the dress incident I dropped and smashed the good lady’s favourite teapot.
And she gets to take dress #2 back (actually #1 because I bought it first, but that won’t cut any ice) and spend the refund in the sales.
Merry Christmas!
You managed to get a new Teapot at a Gas Station?
Bravo Sir.
Very convenient
Hmmmm 
They sell certain items under the counter.
1 Like
2 Likes
Tomorrow i am grounded until whenever.
And i must be up and polished up by 9am
It’s the day when the Village Priest comes round to every house and Blesses everyone (and probably collects his Tithe.
All we know is that it should be i the morning & iirc he will be accompanied by 2 frozen cold choirboys
Luckily, no football
Hmmm Catholic priest…surely not many left to patrol the community without handcuffs?
2 Likes
I’ve given this matter due consideration, and concluded you’d have been well within your rights to present her with the wrapped dress as originally planned. This would have served not only to demonstrate your understanding of her tastes in clothing and what suits her, as well as a pin-sharp reminder not to buy herself “little treats” prior to Christmas. If she has the slightest amount of shame, she’d have been mortified and you’d have garnered an absolute truckload of brownie points. 
2 Likes