A few months back my phone deleted all contacts.
Now my computer has dumped my address book and email history - I am Nobby No-Mates.
(itâs quite nice 
)
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My bank called me, then put me on hold for 10 minutes, so I did the same to them⌠they hung up! cheeky fuckers!
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The local water company shut down the supply (to do repairs) no info so our in house pump stays on and sucks the mud that they have allowed into the system to permeate through the whole water system of the house.
now the mrs says she wants a massage and I suggest a nice relaxing mud bath she goes apeshit crazy (copyright Bearsy I Believe)
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Whoa just a minute!! You let your house maid use your water/swimming pool?
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Yes of course they are treated as house members.
any way the mrs has just come outside and picked up the garden hose
âwhat are you doingâ
âgoing to water the plantsâ
âThe water has been turned offâ
"what when "
Jesus bloody Christ it was only an hour ago she was moaning about a mud bath.
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Children. Little and annoying. I have just spent 7 hours in Westfield shopping centre and appear to be ÂŁ390 poorer.
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Should I upvote because I feel your pain, or downvote for spending 7 hours there - what did you expect?!?!
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Been to Westfield Stratford a few times. Awful place. I feel your pain.
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Bank Holiday drivers.
Itâs a frigging 60mph limit, why the fuck are you doing 22mph??
Probably because of the middle aged cyclists in Lycra in front of you?
Downvote for my stupidity. Upvote for the bottle of rum i found as we were leaving. A small silver lining 
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You should be in charge of naming places. The signs would be wonderful.
Westfield Stratford
awful place
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The Rightmove advert is really annoying me. Itâs hte one with cartoon kids talking about parents trying to find the right school and that rightmove have a school catchment search. So many levels of annoying.
Itâs modern day Darwinism. Survival of the richest.
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Nice one!
I get annoyed when the Bank phones me up at home and then asks me to prove who i am with a series of seciurity questions. An answer of âHang on, you phoned me, you cheeky twatâ isnât the best way to get on with the Bank.
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Ronaldo gets another hat trick.
Arse.
The bloke I saw at SMS wearing a Saints/Hull City half-and-half scarf.
Milan perhaps, possibly even a cup final one, but fucking Hull??
Come on, which one of you twats was it??
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I had a lot of ants nests in the garden so yes why not get rid of the little ferocious bastards.
so cucumber sandwiches for the ants (cucumber kills ants)
I now have a lot of ants preparing to sprout wings and fuck of into the sunset (this is good) but at the present they are all milling around like delayed passengers at Dubai terminal three biting /buying anything in sight.
I have had to move indoors and turn the pool pump and filter off to stop it clogging with dead ant bodies.
Google - how about giving our software proviers some heads up before rolling out a new version of chrome and fucking all of our systems.
One year I had a lot of money in my current account and the bank kept phoning to say I had to speak to the manager
they got upset when I said when would he like to travel to Langley to meet me.
No you have to come here is the reply
well it will be at my convenience then. Is my reply.
anyway a week or so later I am in Hythe and walk into the bank.
the manager wants to see me I say.
Do you have an appointment ?
he phoned me a week or so ago is the reply.
he is busy
so am I he phoned me and wanted to speak with me I explained it was busy and it would be at my convenience which is now where is he.
20 mins later he turns up.
Sir you have too much money in your current account we would like you to move it to ( and the proceeded to try and flog premium accounts that cost me money)
excuse me how can I have too much money in my account?
if you like please go and withdraw all the money in the account in cash and bring it here.
why would you do that sir?
because you see that bank across the street out the window I am going to go across there and open a new account and put it in there.
then lots of begging from the manager and they never phoned me again at home.
Bankers the lot of em.
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