Start coughing. Then throw into the mix a remark to your wife about the friend she had lunch with yesterday, expressing the hope that her friendās Covid test turned out negative. Complain that you canāt taste your drink or food.
7 Likes
Amazon Music - big fanfare about extending the number of free tunes available but neglecting to tell people you can no longer choose what you want to listen to unless itās on shuffle - meaning you get a load of crap you donāt actually want to listen to (& your own personal playlists have been removed)
Lost listener
Cunts 
1 Like
Getting caught by the wife for having a girlfriend.
Go to the little pleasures of life.
1 Like
Continually the electronic terrorist theme - have now split the cunts into two groups
The young who think it is entirely acceptable to FaceTime / have conversations on speaker
And the old who havenāt realised you can turn off the ping every time an email / text arrives
Now trying to find appropriate names for said groups other than fucking cunts and utter cunts
3 Likes
As an old cunt I have NEVER, Facetimed, nor have I taken a picture of my meal. I know how to do both.
2 Likes
Picking up on this
On 1st train out of London to Bristol
Train rammed - sitting next to group of cheerful Murican ladies playing some sort of āwhat am Iā type of game, with increasing volumeā¦
Why canāt they just shut the fuck up and be miserable like us Brits
3 Likes
Phil vs HP Printer part 3
Cā you all knew this was comingā¦
Rock up stupid early at immigration nice lady serves us.
Passport goes across lady tells me, very wise to do this, rules could change. Mrs P_F snarls.
Forms go across, photos.
Then documents.
Lastly the 3 years and 40 printed pages.
Oh no. We donāt need those.
6 Likes
Its fvcking snowing here
And 2 inches of snow forecast for tomorrow -2C and none of the locals have winter tyres yet (except me & the Vans) and 6 hours waiting in the Van.
The High Income Child Benefit Charge!!
Sans Serif fonts and the software that uses them where I and l are indistinguishable.
1 Like
How cute and wintery.
2 Likes
And today freezing fog all day, -1C and 2 of the 3 things I took clients to see were shut
I hope the only open attraction was the knocking shop. Thatāll keep 'em warm.
1 Like
Itās a regular morning pleasure to unload the excesses of the previous evening in one large handy package.
A pleasure that quickly turned into an annoyance this morning as the deposited āOcean Goerā seems to have taken up residency. Three flushes and itās still there, staring back at you defiantly.
The āOcean Goerā it appears, has run aground and will need to be broken up into three Hythe Ferries with the toilet brush.
Ugh, any ideas on how to clean a toilet brush?
Pictures to follow.
1 Like
Put in black plastic bag in plastic bin and purchase new from Amazon 24 hr delivery.
May arrive in time for the next disposal cycle
6 Likes
Ah, the unflushable turd. Otherwise known as a Peter Mandelson.
5 Likes
Have you estimated its half life?
1 Like