Spelling test failed surely?
2 Likes
When you demonstrate your genius by making a Superman cape out of a stolen Virgin Atlantic blanket and the missus says āfuck off Iām workingā
5 Likes
A bloke ran past me with his black cape flowing behind him. I shouted āare you a superhero?ā He yelled āno, I havenāt paid for my haircut.ā
5 Likes
Yay. Krakow broke a record today.
We became THE most polluted City on earth.
PM 10, PM5 & PM2.5 levels all 4 x higher than the limit at which EU fines places.
And dont I know it.
Totally fvcked my typing skills earlier
2 Likes
FFS do disnāt espec us to beleeve that shit. 
2 Likes
Many years ago, when I was earning silly money, and didnāt check bills, British Gas overcharged me to the extent of the whole of the next years bills! Never paid BG by direct debit after this, made them wait 90 days, and paid by cheque. Cunts.
2 Likes
Pricks that donāt pay on time.
2 Likes
Being tired, being sent to a different gas station chain than usual, then putting Ā£80 of petrol in your diesel van.
Got it turned off before any damage.
Worked my arse off this month.
All gone on that petrol, the replacement diesel (God willing), tow truck & mechanic.
If I fvcked the engine, we are dead.
I honestly want to find a corner and cry through a crate of Vodka.
Heartbroken
Shit, sorry to hear that fella. Easily done. Been there. Luckily realised as I was filling and got tank drained. Fingers crossed for you 
Iāve been saying for years that diesel and petrol pumps and inlets should be different. It shouldnāt be possible to fill with the wrong fuel in this day and age, surely some easy and foolproof system could be introduced.
1 Like
You canāt put diesel in a petrol car because the diesel nozzle is bigger than a petrol one, I think
Iām sure that comes as a huge relief to Phil. 
2 Likes
Oh FFS.
Turns out Grandsons cousin has been in hospital for a week with Sepsis & Strep A
Manifesting as an ear infection.
Grandson woke screaming 2 hours ago. His rare.
Kiddie Nurofen hasnt touched it.
No 24 hour pharmacy in town
We all are certain itās from the swimming, but Mrs P_F called the Doc and so kids are taking him via Uber to the local equiv of A&E because Strep A is notifiable here and just in case.
Jesus wept
Iām now babysitting the Granddaughter
Sure it was kiddie nurofen you put in, mate? Not tictacs or something? 
1 Like
Nurovodkafen
2 Likes
Engine in the Van is saved.
Decemberās salary gone, but sod it.
Iām drinking vodka
5 Likes
Iām really annoyed with myself - I keep looking at the BBC āgossipā page, and thinking every single time what a load of dogshit and boring stuff that I really donāt want to read.
Perhaps thereās a pill I can take to stop me looking at the wretched page, or an electric shock delivered every time I try to click on.
3 Likes
