Yeah I know.
Winner of 2 Photo Competitions.
Entire Front Page of National Newspaper (And Winner of News Photo of the Year)
2 Getty Images Published & on 1st name terms with the Worlds Finest Snappers (still)
So I know that shit was just joshing with you. IMHO it is still cheating, REAL Snappers changed their Film Makes, ISOās Exposures and lens types to do that shit, not software
Microsoft paint works quite well to touch up photos too 
Hustler is good for touching up photos as well 
I wonāt prostitute my art.
Iād sooner die penniless in my garret studio leaving my considerable body of work to the nation.
In my will I have made provision for an extension to The Tate Galleryā¦The Slowlane Gallery and Snackbar.
The Belgians
Bunch of feckless wankers
I am pretty sure the word āurgencyā doesnāt exist in Flemish
It does in the context of potatoes at the momentā¦
We have a conservatory (for now) and Iāve been spending a lot of time in it since the weather has improved. We also have a bloody pigeon that seems to think the roof is his personal dancefloor. The fucker is constantly stomping around on it. Short of killing it, how can I stop this cunt from annoying me?
Move house.
Iād rather kill it
Rent a Cat
Iād rather kill the cat
Capture it and remove its legs.
Sounds like you have a flat roof.
Change it to a pitched roof thatās steep as possible (first floor windows will determine this).
They canāt stand on an angled piece of glass, let alone dance.
That said, the roof on a conservatory is the most expensive part. Might as well knock it down and start again, that way when people ask why you donāt stand out the front clapping, you can point at vans outside your house and say āiām keeping these cunts fedā.
You only eat the legs?
No, I make earrings.
Itās pitched but itās the bare minimum of slopes due to the windows above. It should have been knocked down by now but itās been Coronaād. Another of the silent victims.
I donāt like hurting animals, even the ones I donāt like, so I wonāt be taking its feet off. I do like the idea of soft shoes for it. Iāll make them out of a roadkill pigeon that I find. Thatāll teach the fucker. You want to dance? Well these are you new dancing shoesā¦ The mangled face of your friend. Dance to that Leroy!
Glass or polycarb shit?
Even a gentle angle of glass generally stops them, so iām guessing itās not.
If itās not glass, iād suggest putting a very cheap carpet over it.
You wonāt hear the pigeon, youāll be better insulated and your house value will go upš
Poly. Itās bloody rubbish. Every time itās spitting it sounds like a torrential downpour. And every step this pigeon takes is like a giant stomping around.
