Uh oh. Someone in the block is having a party. Or could be practising their DJ āskillsā. As it is not even 10pm I wont get too annoyed. After midnight though we will see. I am majorly sleep deprived so may be able to sleep through it.
Going to the basket to get a pair of shoes and finding the dogs have taken one of yours and either buried it or eaten it.
Or we have a one legged thief stealing a shoe
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Spent 350 guineas on a new ram a few weeks back, I am beginning to suspect he may be gay.
He went in with his group of ewes last Wednesday, to date he has not served one and shows no interest in doing so. The ewes are grouping round him and even backing up to him, he just stands there with a bemused expression on his face.
I have no problems with the ovine LGBT community but this is buggering up my business plan.
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Thatās it, blame the fella. Are the ewes making an effort?
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An evening out then GB?
I sometimes worry about what goes on in your mind.
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Yeah all a bit to much effort. Just chuck some Viagra in his feedš
Itās my search history that worries me.
First line in will should be delete all search history on all devices without reading.
Hereās one we can all relate toā¦
When you take your bike in for its 8 week āsafetyā check (in Portsmouth) and you explain that youāre delighted with the bike but the front brake occasionally goes spongy. So you hang around Port Solent all day and even go to see a shit film (Terminator) to waste time. You eventually collect it, drive it all the way home, take it out for a test ride and after 3 front brake tests the lever goes to the handlebar at the junction and nearly sends you into the middle of the road.
Then you speak to the shop and they tell you there must be a warranty fault and they will need the components (means taking the bike in, again) to send them off to the manufacturer.
When you enquire how long that will take they audibly shrug down the phone and say āDonāt know, but it will take some time for them to check the components once they get themā.
Then you patiently, but passive aggressively explain that that isnāt what is going to happen. You tell āSteveā that heās going to cannibalise one of the bikes in the shop and put those components on your bike.
Then āSteveā has to go away and check with a grown-up. āSteveā phones you back to tell you that he can do that for you. Delighted, you tell āSteveā that youāll bring the bike back the next day (today) but you wonāt be picking it up the same day as youāre out on the beer in Winch tomorrow (this) afternoon. āSteveā, presumably out of some feeling of guilt and through the last vestiges of his one-and-only customer service course tells you āIt will only take an hour - tops. You could waitā.
You agree and the next day (today) you make your way back to Port Solent, wait for the shop to open at 10am (door still locked at 10:03am) and hand the bike over. You show āSteveā the fault (brake lever goes to the bar and zero braking force) and wait for the apology which isnāt forthcoming so you share your concern and mild amusement that this happened during the safety check and that it couldnāt possibly have been road-tested and had been handed back to the customer (me) in an unsafe condition. āSteveā grins and say āYeah, I knowā.
You tell āSteveā that this isnāt good enough so he grunts in an embarrassed and āIām all out of customer service skillsā sort of way. You also mention to āSteveā that the phone case that was velcroād to the handlebars when you brought the bike in is now missing. āAre you sure it was on thereā he accuses. āYESā you reply through gritted teeth. āYou returned my bike broken and incompleteā.
So you head out of Port Solent to kill 60 minutes because you know that is the absolute ātopsā amount of time this procedure will take and knowing this āfactā gave you comfort because otherwise you wouldnāt be able to get back to Eastleigh in time to get the train to Winch to meet your mate who you plan to bore with the tale of your bike safety check and your love for craft IPAs.
So you walk around Decathlon, really slowly. Really, really slowly. You have so much time to kill that you think it is a good idea to buy the wife a snood. I bought the wife a snood! Fuck me. Anyway, the phone still didnāt ring.
So you text your mate and warn him you might be late and head to Costa. You order a takeaway cup in case you need to rush to pick up your bike. But youāve now finished your coffee, one hour and 55 minutes has now passed and so you decide to use Sotonians as therapy and dump all of this in the annoyances thread.
Cunts.
7 Likes
Look on the bright side, Bletch. Thereās a bit of a win for your mate in all of that.
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Laptop
Your version of windows 10 will no longer be supported after Nov 1st do you want to up date now? Yes no
Ok yes
5 hours later
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Annual leave today.
I smell breakfast being cooked. I have not been offered anything. I explain to my eldest that this episode will be a number in my upcoming musical, āMy disappointing daughtersā. I even sang a little bit of it.
No breakfast for papa!
No breakfast for papa!
Fuck yourself, you little elf!
No breakfast for papa!
āGood tune, thatā, she said.
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The volume of work coming in at the moment. It is ridiculous. Please can everyone be kinder to each other, yeah?
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What, during an election campaign? Youāll be lucky!
True. Some of the stuff we dealt with today is just the increase in aggression and tension that seems to be about.
South western rail or whatever it is bloody called now.
Dashed across east london to get to waterloo. Make it. However there is a 5 coach train not the usual 10. Me and Mark Kermode jumped into each other on platform trying to find a way onto train.
Oh and the bloke checking out Ā£1.5mil houses in front of me. Who gave me daggers when my scarf brushed him accidentally.
1 Like