The Ayatollah bog washed her phone and we recovered it by sticking in a a box of rice for a few days and and baking it intermittently in the oven on a low heat - still gets fecking hot
Canāt say if the rice or the oven did the trick
Bollox.
Really wanted 10 minutes of stoppage time in that game.
#TOTBAY
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Arrived at work a bit late as had to go home and get my pass and glasses. Not a great start.
Only 3 of us in as one at a funeral. By 10.30 one went home ill. I go home for lunch, come back and the second person goes home ill.
Great. That leaves me taking all calls re child protection and advice. With one manager too.
Plus I was given 7 Amber pieces of work additional to the 3 pieces of work from my job share.
Weirdly not feeling stressed. However,do not want to do that again really.
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Our road is closed for resurfacing there are plenty of signs saying it is closed. But people are driving around signs (on wrong side of road) and hoping to get down the road. They then find it is actually closed right outside our block
Lots of beeping.
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The bar man down the local asking if the Ayatollah would like a double G&T and then demanding Ā£12 for it
Fair enough upsell - I get it but ffs we are in a local in the provinces not fucking Chelsea
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you can buy 6 bottles of Gilbeys Gin in the Philippines for that amount. 
Where the kitchen sink decides that it has had enough of the worktop and drops in in the cupboard below
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Sounds like your missus is fishing for a new kitchenā¦
She can fuck right off - the bathroom is being done which she has been crapping on about for, well, 11 years (master class of procrastination on my part). On the up side I have a plumber in the house for the next three days. I can see Ā£50 going his way.
I canāt even imagine how this is possible.
Too right mate, sheās already had some frying pans off you in the last year, wanting anything else is just bloody unreasonable.
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When someone buzzes your flat at 12.30am. Other flats were buzzed at 1am. Believe someone let them in. The buzzes are so loud it makes you jump when you arenāt asleep.
Oh that is SO annoying.
Almost as bad as when you need a work shirt ironed & the Maid was having a day off.
Obviously, no such problems these days.
I just send the wife to do it.
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Ah the ex pat life 
Having to buy new bedside tables after the originals have followed you all over the world after 25 years
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Worrying scenes as I wait (on my bike, in my shorts) to board the delayed Red Funnel this morning.
Thereās much pointing into the sea and shaking of heads as they lowered the rescue boat into the water to rescueā¦a fucking door floating in the sea.
Ferry late on what is already a 30 mins later departure due to a prematurely early winter timetable because one of their ferries is poorly.
As always, thoughts go out to the fucking door and its family at this difficult time.
RIP.
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You fucking doorist bastard.
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